Torn Between Two Love
by xbluephantomx
Summary: Carissa, Alois' sister, wants to help Alois get Ciel. She and Ciel falls in love until he finds out that she is related to Alois, someone he hates. She's torn apart by love. Who does she choose? Brother or enemy?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I watched the spinning toy go up and down on the string. My brother gave me this yo-yo for last Christmas. It was a toy that I treasured the most. I held the yo-yo and looked outside the elegantly decorated window. It was dark and raining harshly outside. I wonder what it was like to step on wet grass and to feel trees. Brother never let me set foot outside. He never told me why.

I looked around the clean room and realized I didn't change out of my pajamas yet. The bed I was sitting on was the comfiest one in the mansion. My brother likes to spoil me even though he won't let me outside. I do love everything about him, all except for one fact.

"Carissa!" a booming voice shouted and the door to my room opened, "We have a guest over!" My brother crossed the room and handed me a lollipop. I took it and put it in my mouth like a happy child.

"A guest? Who is it?" I mumbled while licking the strawberry lollipop. Brother is the only person that could make me this happy. He brought his face closer to mine and licked the other side of the lollipop.

"I don't know. I've let him in because of the weather. I'm giving him some time to settle in first, and then I'll meet with him. I've decided to hang out with you," he explained. My eyes widened as I heard the last few words. Whenever those words slip out of his mouth, he always turn into the guy I hated the most. Brother licked my neck as I stiffened. He hands embraced me and pushed me down onto the bed. He took the lollipop from my mouth and threw it across the room. Then he slowly made his way down as he took off my pajamas.

"Nn, brother," my soft voice tried to express itself, "Stop it. Brother, please!" Tears formed in my eyes as he stuck it in me. I screamed in terror into the open air but he covered my mouth with his hand.

"I know you like it. This is your payment for me spoiling you. I think I'm too nice," he said and breathed heavily as he continued to feel pleasured. I hated this part of brother but I had to do whatever he says. He took care of me and treats me like a princess so this was the consequence. I cried silently and then I felt something strange. My whole body twitched and my eyes widened as the numbing feeling spread through my body. I felt dirty ever since my brother started this procedure a year ago. He would come into my room to receive his payment every few days.

He got up and dressed himself quickly in his favorite purple coat. He left me panting on the bed but I soon got up to dress myself. I wore a heavy dress that the maid had prepared earlier for me to wear. My brother doesn't allow anyone to dress me except for him and myself. I wasn't in the mood to dress myself earlier but I had no choice to do so now. The dress was covered in layers of fabric and the sleeves were laced with a silver pattern. It was a black dress that brother had chosen for me.

"Well, now I'll go visit the guest," my brother's voice sounded excited. I made myself forget what happened earlier and got up to hug him.

"Take me too! I want to meet him!" I looked up at him and he gave me the warmest smile ever.

"Oh you're so cute. Fine, you can come along," he spoke gently. He patted my head and led me outside the door. The waxed wooden floor never creaked with each footstep we took. I felt so eager to meet this new person that I couldn't help but smile like a fool.

"I love you, Alois," I thanked my brother.

Alois appeared in front of the door to the guest's room. He shouted at Hannah and spilled the vase of water. I turned my head away knowing that I shouldn't take especially when he was angry. Brother and I stepped inside the room to find a dark mysterious man sitting on the bed with a strange trunk in front of him. I was really shy so I stood near the door. I waved at the man in black and he nodded at me. I smiled when I finally interacted with a different person.

"Say, what's in that trunk of yours? Clothes? Sweets?" big brother Alois questioned the big man. He didn't respond back and everything was quiet.

"I'm jealous; it must be fun to travel. I want to try traveling, too," he confessed. Big brother never traveled before? I never knew that. I always thought he had the time to go anywhere he wanted. I walked close to both of them to listen to their conversation.

"I've been told there's something interesting beneath this mansion," the stranger spoke with curiosity that made Alois' eyes shine, "If you show it to me, I'll show you what's in this trunk." I could tell brother would love this bargain. He started giggling and I wondered what was so funny.

"Stay here, Carissa. I'll be back soon," Alois rubbed my head and both of them walked out the door. I wanted to go too but I had follow Alois' words. If I don't… I don't want to think about it. I squatted down to pick up the broken ceramic vase on the carpet. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain on my finger. I looked down and saw something red and wet.

"Ah!" I staggered backwards surprised at the substance. I started hyperventilating and stared at the trickling red liquid. What was this? What is this red thing that made me feel pain? Someone approached me and took my finger. I glanced up and saw Claude and his shining glasses. He put my finger in his mouth and licked it.

"It's called blood," he explained and took me to the kitchen, "When your skin cuts open, then it will bleed blood." I've never seen it before since Alois protects me with all his might. I felt the tightness as Claude bandaged my finger.

"Stay here, I'll be back sooner than you think," the soothing sound of Claude's voice reassured me. He opened the silverware drawer and took out some gold knives and left to go to the basement. I was getting annoyed that everyone was ordering me around. I pouted and sat on the counter top waiting for them.

"Catch him, Claude!" someone shouted. The door leading to the basement smashed open and someone raced up the stairs. I hopped down the table and watched the man with the trunk run around the kitchen. Claude threw knives at him and stabbed him in the shoulders. I gasped a little wondering how he's not showing that he was in pain. The man tripped, causing the trunk to open.

"Ciel Phantomhive? It is! I finally have him!" Alois exclaimed happily. I tugged on brother's sleeve and peered around him.

"Is that who you keep talking about, big brother?" I asked Alois and noticed the man's eyes widened.

"It is him!" brother explained. Ciel looked so helpless in the trunk. He was squeezed tightly in the box and I tried imagining myself in the trunk. His blue hair shone brightly in the light. He makes me want to hug him. I stepped closer but the man shut the trunk close. He said something to big brother that I didn't catch and hopped on the rolling cart. Alois' face showed that he was offended by whatever the man had said and I thought it was a bit funny. Both of them chased after the man on the rolling tray across the mansion. I realized I was standing there like an idiot and went after everyone. I was running down the stairs as fast as I could but the heavy dress and high heels slowed me down. The chandelier on the ceiling feel and all the light disappeared.

"It's dark! Someone! Claude!" my brother yelled into the empty void.

"Lights," Claude said calmly and the candles relit again. I fell down several stairs because I couldn't see anything in the dark. I landed head first on the hard marble ground. I hoisted myself up and rubbed my head. My vision blurred as tears flowed down my cheeks. Alois quickly walked to me and bent down to look at me in the face.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to help you. I was… having difficulties. Forgive me," he tried to apologize since I got hurt. I wasn't crying because I fell, I was crying because I was stupid and late. I couldn't help big brother do anything but be a useless bystander while Alois' dream escaped him. I was frustrated.

"I'm sorry, Alois," I stopped crying when Alois carried me to my room, "I didn't help you catch the man with the trunk." Alois dressed me into a relaxing nightgown and I was okay with him helping me.

"Shh, it's okay. We'll get him another day," he assured me and tucked me in bed. I grabbed his purple sleeve and he turned around.

"Sleep with me, I'm scared a monster will get me," I gave him a stupid reason for him to stay with me. He chuckled evilly and got in bed with me. He hugged me close to his chest and I felt the warmth from his heart.

"I love you, Carissa. Promise you won't leave me like _him_?" I heard brother whispered in my ear.

I remembered the story he told me a while ago. His dead "brother" died and left him alone. Then I decided to gather up my courage to not be such a baby anymore. I had to grow up and look out for myself. I hated to be a bystander so I'll help him get Ciel Phantomhive. If it makes Alois happy, I'll do anything for him. He was the only family I have left and we finally have each other.

"I promise, Alois," I replied and his embraced tightened. He kissed my hair and I closed my eyes to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Brother Alois was kidnapped the year my mother was carrying me. Soon after mother gave birth to me, she died from sadness. Father was searching for brother frantically so I was nursed by the maids. After a few years, Alois came back with a butler in black. Father died of a disease right after Alois came back. Everyone forgot about me. My brother found me locked in a closet, hiding from terror. He decided to take care of me since I was the last of his family. He was always nice to me but not the servants.

I was thinking of all these things while I pretended to be asleep. My eyes were closed and I focused on breathing heavily to make sure I looked sound asleep. I could tell it was morning already because my eyes weren't completely shut. Mornings annoyed me but I reluctantly opened my eyes after a few boring moments.

Alois was sitting at the edge of the bed with Claude dressing him up. He wore a dark blue vest with a red bow tie. He had his casual short black pants with knee high stockings and laced boots. Then he put on his favorite purple coat. He wore the same thing as yesterday just with a different colored vest. Alois saw that I had awoken and started to dress me up happily. He got me in a matching outfit except with a white coat with gold swirls framing it. I looked like a mini Alois but I could care less. I was going to help my brother get what he wanted.

I grabbed my yo-yo and we all went to Alois' study room. Brother slouched and laid his head on the table lazily. Claude was serving us tea quietly while I played with my yo-yo. _What do I need to get Ciel? _I looked at the yo-yo and tried lifting it up faster and tried doing cool tricks with it. I played with my yo-yo enough to do some basic tricks. That's when I figured out how to get Ciel. To get the yo-yo back in my hand, I need to pull it towards me. To get Ciel in my hand, I need to pull Ciel towards me. I admit it was a stupid coincidence but at least I have a plan.

"Brother! Could we have a ball?" I abrupt Claude's "important" lecture and made Alois spit out his steaming hot tea. He was pounding his chest while choking on the tea. Maybe I startled everyone.

"A ball? For what reason?" Alois tried reasoning with me. I couldn't tell him the reason why I wanted a ball. I wanted to surprise him when I caught Ciel.

"Let's make it a costume part! I know you love those!" I stared into his green eyes and made my sad begging face hoping he wouldn't mind it if I never gave him a reason why I wanted a ball. Claude glared at me, suspicious that I was up to something. Alois fell for my trap and happily agreed.

"Great idea!" Alois stood up from his chair and started dancing around, "Claude, prepare for a ball tonight! Invite everybody!"

"Yes. Invite EVERYBODY," I hoped I put enough stress on everybody so that Claude would invite the Phantomhive household. Brother started dancing again and Claude left with disgust. _I think Claude thinks the Trancy family has issues,_ I shrugged not caring if he didn't like me or not.

"Olé!" Alois exclaimed with the last pose of his dance but then narrowed his eyes and glared viciously at me. I jumped at his angry and attempted to copy brother's dance with a few mistakes and ended up with my hands strangely waving in the air.

"Olé?" I imitated but found Alois on the floor rolling around. He laughed hysterically as he pointed to me. Yes, even I think my brother was pathetic. I sighed and continued to play with my yo-yo.

Brother kicked me out of the room because he needed to work and I took this chance to go to the library in this mansion. Father used to love literature and history that he fused two normal guest rooms and made it a library. It was dedicated to Alois but brother was too lazy to lift up a single book. I hopped on the rolling ladder that clung to the large wall of books. I searched the entire room picking out several books and throwing them on the enormous poop colored couch. I never really liked reading for fun or sitting on that couch. I jumped off from the tall ladder and flopped onto the couch. I took a notepad from a nearby table and started taking notes. When I opened the first book and I noticed the cracking sound of the binding folding and the smell of a new book. I guessed no one used this book before.

"Athens used to show some weakness to the Spartans. Spartans thought to attack the weakened spot, only to be trapped in a surprise attack," I recited from the book. So if I want to lure Ciel over, I need to show my weak spot but then attack him? I thought about it for long minutes and it started to confuse me. I don't even know him and how he'd react to my weakness. I took the notepad and started to take notes furiously on whatever information I could learn from this book.

The first hour of my study passed by quickly when Claude entered the room.

"Lady Carissa, it's time for a snack and the Young Master would like to see you?" Claude had a questioned look on his face as he saw me studying.

"Bweph!" I shouted randomly and threw everything on the couch in the air. The papers floated and books slammed to the floor. I took the book about Athens and I hid it behind me.

"Oh is that so? Wonderful! I was just reading a story about the Black Death in the 1350's! Ah ha ha," I laughed nervously as I slammed the book in Claude's face, "I wonder what kinds of whole grain wheat foods they can make next!" I scrambled for the door and hoped Claude doesn't take in deep consideration of my awkward reaction. I squeezed my eyes shut and raced down the hallway to Alois' bedroom.

"Alois!" I screamed into his room and it echoed loudly. I forced my eyes to open and it focused on the picture. Alois was dressing up in a costume full of pink glitter without Claude's help. Does he want to surprise Claude?

"Oh, good timing. I wanted to show you the costume for the party!" brother jumped with so much excitement as he zipped up his costume. It looked strange with all the shining sequins on him. I stepped back a bit and looked at his whole body and realized what it was. I mentally face palmed at my brother's idiocy.

"Is that a pig costume?" I inquired with a cocked eyebrow. Alois put on a small pink pig nose and posed in his outfit.

"Amazing isn't it. Come on, dance with me!" and my dancing, he meant acting like a pig. He started to oink and got on all four. It gawked at him and wanted to actually face palm myself. I may be sane but I am a Trancy sibling. I shrugged and got on all four and starting copying Alois. I was having fun being a pig until Claude entered the room and pulled me up from the carpeted floor.

"Please don't be such a bad influence to your sister, young master," Claude warned Alois and ruined all the fun. I bit my bottom lip as Alois got up and his temper rose. Alois stripped of his outfit and revealed his skinny body.

"Why don't you try it?" I suggested and tried to smooth out the atmosphere but the air grew darker. I chuckled nervously and excused myself from the room. I don't want to know what was going to happen with those two. I'm getting so excited for the party that I forgot I don't have a costume myself? I ran to my room and panted while trying to go through my closet but there was nothing inside it except for clothes that looked like what I was already wearing. I raised my eyebrows and decided to make my own changes to what I was wearing instead. There wasn't time to buy anything.

I shoved my white jacket and vest off and threw it on the bed. I ripped the bow tie off and piled it up with the other clothes. I looked around the drawers for some long pants but unfortunately, there was none. I raced to Claude room secretly and opened the door. I hope he wouldn't catch me in here. The room was small but clean. Does Claude even use this room? There were no blankets on the bed and any chair or table in the room. I opened his closet with care, making sure there were no creaks. My eyes found a pair of black pants and I took it from the closet. I stuffed it down my white collared shirt and raced down the hallway. It felt like forever to get to my room. _Since when was the hallway that long?_

I heard footsteps coming towards my room and I started to have cold sweat. I couldn't tell anyone about my master plan, not until I finished it. I quickly wrote "DO NOT DISTURB" on a sheet of paper and opened my door. I found Claude with the three purple haired butlers behind him. I smiled weakly at them as I let the piece of paper fall to the ground. I shut the door as hard as I could and slid to the floor. When I heard silence in the hallway, I sighed and was relieved that I could finally finish my costume.

I took my white coat with gold swirls and stepped on it. I stomped and jumped on it and made sure it was thoroughly crinkled and dirty. I took scissors from my wooden desk full of art supplies and started making tiny slits so that it looked torn. I took the bow tie I had undone and some extra bows from my closet. My hands shook from excitement as I reached for some pins on the table and pinned one end of the tie to the black trousers. I measured my body and somehow, the length of the ribbon bow tie was enough to go around the front of my body to the back. I smiled and did the same thing to the other side of the black trousers. Now it looked like suspenders. I slid on the black pants and it was obviously too big for me. I had three pins left and I tried to make the waist match mine. After a moment of struggle, I finally got it. It felt itchy but I had to bear with it. I looked down at my feet and I knew the pant legs were too long. I bit my lip as I snipped away the bottom parts and make it look all ripped. I tucked it in the ends into my boots. I slapped on the suspenders but let the one on my left should hand loose on my waist. I picked up the now light brown and torn jacket and felt the weird feeling on my arms. I've never worn such ripped and common clothing before. It did feel weird seeing me as a dirty boy in my body mirror.

I looked carefully and forgot to do my hair! My hand quickly grabbed a bunch of hair ties and pins and I clumsily stuck them in my hair. I pulled over a hat uncle Arnold gave me because I said I wanted to be a guy. Who knew this would be the perfect reason to use it? My blonde bangs covered parts of my eyes and I looked like a child who came out of the trash can. Huh, good costume. I did compliment myself in the mirror. For the last step, I got my yo-yo and exited my room. I wanted to show Alois so badly what my outfit was. My yo-yo was rolling lightly on the marble floor and all I could hear was the spinning metal rod in the yo-yo and my boots loudly clanking on the floor. When I reached Alois' door, I started giggling wondering about his reaction. I pushed opened the door to find Alois dying from boredom on his bed.

"Alois," I whispered to him so I wouldn't scare him. His head jerked towards me and he almost fell off the bed.

"Who the hell are you?" he said and threw a pillow at me. My hat almost fell off but I dropped my yo-yo to save my identity.

"It's me! Carissa! You're sister?" I placed my hands on the bed and felt it slouch down at the pressure. Alois' face showed his aversion of me and threw another pillow at my direction. I blocked it off swiftly knowing he was going to do that.

"Like my sister is like that!" he yelled at me and got off the bed, "Claude! Get this person outside and away from my mansion!" Almost immediately, Alois' butler came and grabbed me by my arms. I wiggled, trying to get out of his grasp.

"Hey, are you seriously kicking your sister outside? Alois! Come on, you know it's me," I shouted back at him but I was ignored. Claude's grip on my arms tightened and I knew there were bruises threatening to appear right after he let go. I couldn't believe Claude didn't know it was me either. He's such a robot! I stopped trying to free myself because I knew it was useless. Claude shoved me out the large maple door and my hands came in contact with the stone stairs. It was cold and my hands hurt from the stinging cold. I looked up from the ground and realized I was outside. I was outside!

I slowly walked up to the grass in the front lawn and fell to my knees. I let my fingers run through the grass and felt the nice and soft green leaves on the grass. I picked up some dirt and let it run through my fingers. A smiled formed on my lips and I decided to climb a tree. Nature felt so exhilarating and fun. I felt so free. The bark on the tree supported me as I scraped the steep trunk to the branches. I sat down on a branch high up in the tree. The leaves, the bugs, the buds were all so pretty. Nothing felt so amazing than what I'm going through right now. I found a fork like branch in the tree I was in and decided to nap there for a while. I closed my eyes and focused on hearing everything little thing from insect wings to the leaves whistling.

The sound of horses and chatter woke me up. I was half asleep and remembered guests for the ball were starting to arrive. I peeked through all the leaves of the tree but my eyes were still fuzzy so I roughly rubbed it.

"Welcome to the Trancy household, Lord Phantomhive," a cold voice spoke and it pierced through the air. It sounded so hostile but the guest didn't mind. I was fully awake when I heard the word "Phantomhive" and leaned in closer to see what was happening. A faded grayish blue hair shone from the light inside the mansion indicated he was the Phantomhive guest. It was him! Ciel Phantomhive! _Now I can finally put my plan into action_, I thought and smirked.

**Sorry it's late. I was sick yesterday and busy today ran out of excuses**

**R&R please! I want to know your reactions and thoughts and criticisms (I hope that's phrased right. I have bad grammar)**

**Please excuse all my mistakes. I plan to fix them once my editor is done with my other story. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Having an argument with yourself was the most annoying-est thing in the world. I paced back and forth and sat on the soft grass. A dandelion grew nearby where I was sitting and I plucked it from its roots. I pulled off the petals and started arguing.

"I'll go get Ciel for Alois but I won't be allowed to go back outside. I'll never go inside again because I like the outside," I fought with myself. I didn't know what to do; I never really made decisions myself. The last petal was plucked off and I ended up with, "I'll go get Ciel for Alois but I won't be allowed to go back outside." I sighed heavily and patted a tree trunk that was closest to me. I took a deep breath as I tried to etch the smell of tulips into my memory.

My feet dragged along the rocky pavement as they pulled me up to the main entrance. Claude looked composed when he watched me walk up to him. His eyes narrowed and the tips of his lips dropped to a frown.

"Invitation?" he inquired, knowing I didn't have one.

"I don't have one because this is my house and I need to-," I tried explaining before Claude cut me off with his white gloved hand. Then he brought it up to his glasses and fixed them.

"I'm sorry, sir. You aren't allowed inside the ball without an invitation," he recited the instructions his master gave him. I had to think of an excuse quickly or else I won't be able to greet Ciel.

"Your shoe laces are untied!" I shouted and pointed to Claude's shoes. It always worked with Alois and I hoped it would for Claude as well. He didn't dare look down but smirked at my idiocy.

"Without looking down, I know I don't have shoelaces," his expression didn't change. _Damn, he's too good for this_. I cocked my eyebrow when I saw Claude fix his glasses again. Why does he keep doing that? That's it!

"Sorry for this!" I apologized as I kneed him in the groin. Claude jerked and fell to his knees as I grabbed his glasses and threw it far away in the garden. I ran past him and made my way through the crowd of people. I didn't stop running until I reached the table full of food prepared by Claude. My hands shook when I reached for a glass and tried pouring myself a glass of grape juice. The juice tasted weird but I didn't care as long as I got to hydrate myself. I was glad I got in the party and noticed Claude didn't try to stop me. My next mission was to find Ciel. It wasn't hard to look for a kid around my age with a six foot butler next to him.

The butler that was with Ciel had dressed up as a tutor. He looked exactly like the man from before. Ciel sat in a chair to the man's left side. He was wearing a pirate outfit. _How original_¸ I thought. Also surrounding him were his friends that were enjoying the party. They were all wearing lovely costumes for the party. I looked down at myself and I saw a dirty boy. I bit my lip but gathered up my courage to face Ciel. I was half glad that I had this disguise on so that he wouldn't know who I was.

"Are you Ciel Phantomhive?" my words stammered as I tried greeting myself. I was really shy and I felt my face burn up because I wasn't used to talking to guys. Especially when they are cute.

"Yes, that is me. Do you have some business with me?" he confirmed and suspected my moves. Ciel's butler titled his head upwards and looked down at me. He smiled as if he already figured out who I was.

"Uh, I was wondering if…," my brain started hurting and my hands sweated. I didn't know how to get him away from his friends. I looked stupid standing there as my sentence trailed off into the air. Luckily, someone helped fill the awkward silence between me and Ciel.

"Where are you, Carissa?" Alois screamed from the top of the staircase. Everyone that was chattering stopped to look up at him. Alois skipped down the stairs and ran around the room searching for me. The quiet ballroom became lots of murmurs after Alois stopped screaming. I turned around and faced the floor to hide my face so that Alois can't find me. He wasn't supposed to know that I'm trying my best to get Ciel for him.

"Have you seen my sist-," Alois questioned Ciel's butler until he recognized his face and his eyes followed the butler's gaze.

"Look what we have here. Ciel Phantomhive. You're in my territory now," brother spoke with an evil tone. Ciel got up from his seat and they both puffed up their chest as they eyed one another.

"And you are the owner of this mansion. Alois Trancy?" Ciel retorted back at big brother. They were staring intensely at each other and I felt like a bystander. I saw that Alois didn't dress up in his costume but wore his normal outfit from before.

"Claude," Alois ordered and Claude appeared from nowhere. Either he was already here and I just never noticed or he appeared from thin air.

"Sebastian," Ciel's voice dropped an octave. Ciel's butler's name was Sebastian? Both butler's from two households stepped forwards and waited for their masters' commands.

"Settle this out in ten minutes," Alois growled and Ciel smiled. The butlers bowed and left the mansion to go far away. I didn't understand what was happening right now but I still needed to hide my identity. I pushed Alois away and made him fall as I turned around to face Ciel.

"Come with me, I have to show you something," I clutched onto Ciel's sleeve and dragged him up the stairs.

"Hey, come back! How dare you push me!" Alois yelled at me but I ignored him. He'll thank me later. For some reason, Ciel followed obediently with me up to my room.

"Are you sure we're allowed up here? Isn't it rude to intrude someone's room without permission?" Ciel worried and looked around. I turned the door knob to the right and the door clicked open. I led him inside the room and grinned at him.

"It's fine," I assured him while thinking that his is way of trapping Ciel was kind of clichéd. I read many books and they always had this scene and it always worked. I hope it doesn't fail me now. Ciel sat on my bed as I opened one of my drawers near my closet to reveal long strips of ribbon. I searched the room for something hard and my eyes caught interest on the chair. It was the only thing heavy enough for the job.

I took the chair and swung it as hard as I could on Ciel's head. I saw him jerk and let out a small gasp as he fell on the floor unconscious. I dropped the chair and got on my knees to examine Ciel. I ran my fingers along his skull making sure I didn't crack anything. I didn't want to kill him. His hair was wet and I saw that it was stained red. _Blood, this is called blood,_ I reminisced what Claude taught me. So this means that Ciel felt pain before he was knocked out. Then I took the ribbons from my closet drawers and tied him up. After he was all bounded together, I quickly walked into the hallway hoping to find Alois. Fortunately, Alois was cursing to himself while looking for us.

"Damn those brats for running away and hiding in my mansion," he spoke underneath his breath until he lifted up his head to see me. His eyes widened and charged at me with full speed. I braced myself as I felt Alois slam me to the wall.

"What are you doing in my mansion? You were the guy from before aren't you?" his voice pierced through the air with rage. I tried to talk but it was difficult because Alois was choking me. All I could do was stare into his eyes. After a few moments of staring, his grip around my neck loosened and his face softened.

"Those eyes… Carissa?" Alois' throat cracked. He knew that my eyes were the same colour as his but near the pupil was surrounded with a light brown colour. I smiled and rubbed my neck and knew bruises were forming. My neck was sore but I ignored it.

"I have something to show you, Alois! You'd be so happy!" I jumped up and down from excitement as I pulled Alois inside my room. Ciel was already awake but my tying skills kept him from freeing himself.

"You got Ciel tied up for me?" Alois exclaimed happily and put his face in front of Ciel's. He forced Ciel to look at him in the eye as Alois laughed hysterically. I saw that Ciel looked past Alois to glared daggers at me for betraying him. I've never done something bad before so I didn't know how to react to his glare.

"Look at me!" Alois kicked Ciel in the gut, "I finally have you and I'm not about to let you get away." Ciel's face showed his hatred towards big brother as he spit on Alois' favorite coat.

"You don't own me. You'll never own me no matter how hard you try," Ciel said cockily. Alois grew furious as he threw Ciel across the room. I winced knowing how harsh brother could be if he doesn't get what he wants.

"Alois, please don't hurt him. You only want him to annoy Sebastian, right?" I attempted to reason with brother.

"Shut up. Mind your own business!" he yelled at me. How could he treat me like this after getting Alois what he wanted?

"Sebastian!" Ciel commanded and Sebastian showed up at the door frame. Sebastian crossed the room and threw Alois away from his bocchan. He tried to look collected but I'm pretty sure he was concerned for his master's state of being. The ribbons were untied swiftly with Sebastian's skill. He grabbed Ciel and ran to the door but found Alois blocking it.

"Even if you are a demon, you won't get past me!" Alois shouted at Sebastian. _What an idiot_. Alois would be dead in the hands of Sebastian. No matter how much courage he had, Sebastian can easily get through. I gulped because I knew that what was going to happen next would add to my list of doing-bad-things.

I tackled Alois to the ground before Sebastian could slash through his chest. We both landed on the floor with a loud thud and Ciel looked at me.

"Go! I know what I'm risking. I'm an indecisive person," I smiled as I tried to hold down Alois. Ciel and Sebastian nodded at me and dashed out the room; leaving the door closed shut.

"Get off of me!" Alois threw me off. I knew I was no match for my brother's strength. I didn't know that he would hurt Ciel until Sebastian couldn't take it anymore. Alois pinned me onto the floor and started punching me. I silently cried knowing it was okay. I'm not a masochist but I knew I did something wrong so I took my punishment. My hat and pins came off of my hair from the harsh thrashing of my head. He ripped out chunks of my hair while my scream ripped through the air. Not one guest from the ball could have heard it because of the music and dancing. Hannah and Claude came in the room to help me. Claude peeled Alois off of me but brother got one kick in before he was at a safe distance away from me. My face felt numb but I could taste the blood in my mouth. I never knew it had a metallic taste to it. Strands of my blonde hair fell to the floor when Alois' grip on them loosened. My tears wouldn't come out and I took the advantage to smile at Alois.

"Good thing you got your anger out." I was willing to be an anger outlet for brother but it doesn't mean I enjoy the pain. Hannah pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the dripping blood from my head. She propped me up on her leg as she tried to clean me up. I heard Alois' muffled screaming as Claude dragged him away from my room. Hannah lifted me up to change into my sleepwear and tucked me into bed. She left silently with her head bowed. Her face showed sadness and pity for me and I got a little bit angry. I didn't want to be pitied. I failed. I failed at everything. I was utterly useless to anybody. I knew I couldn't be a bystander; I am living for some reason. I need to find that reason.

For hours, I didn't want to close my eyes for fear of being abused might haunt me again. Tears spilled out of my eyes as I bit my lips so no one could hear me cry. I didn't have anyone to comfort me during the dark night.

**I have yet to edit this but I don't have the time. Once again, excuse my mistakes (I know there's a ton in there)**

**My chapters are getting shorter compared to my other story =.= It's also taking a long time for me to write, especially with this writer's block...**

**Hope you like it!**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I poked my face and winced in pain as I looked into my mirror. _Ouch, since when could Alois punch this hard?_ My left cheek bone was purple and bruised. My bottom lip was cut but I could see a scab starting to form. My hair was a mess with some awkward bald spots in it. I grabbed my brush and parted my hair the other way so cover the spots. My hair wouldn't stay and it flipped back to its original state. I pouted at the mirror and walked away from it. Then I heard a soft tap on the dark wooden door.

"May I come in, my lady?" a deep voice inquired. My hand lazily turned the door knob to find Claude standing in the hallway with Alois behind him. Alois' head was lowered and I wonder why.

"What do you want?" my British accent faded away as my voice cracked. Alois lifted his head to face me and I could see the pain in his eyes. His green eyes, filled with sorrow, told me he was sorry.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry, Carissa. I'm sorry for what I've done to you," brother rubbed his arm and looked away. I felt my face flush and my eyes widened. What happened to the world? Who was brainwashing Alois to apologize to me? I quickly grabbed Claude's wrist and pulled him into my room. Seeing that Claude was already in, I slammed the door on Alois' face. I locked it and looked at Claude. Finally, he showed somewhat of a surprised emotion.

"Claude, I need you to cover for me," I begged him. Surely he would listen to me.

"Cover for you?" He asked and fixed the glasses on the crook of his nose.

"I need to go to the Phantomhive manor today but I can't let brother know," I explained clearly, hoping he would find the reason to cover for me.

"I'm sorry. If I do that, he would be very troubled to know you went out. You aren't supposed to set foot outside," he glared at me as if he saw through my disguise from yesterday. Well, my disguise wasn't the most brilliant one ever. I needed to go so I could apologize to Ciel. I needed to bluff.

"I know you and Sebastian were negotiating. You two came back without a single scar on your body or clothes. You're hiding something. Your greed is making you hide it," I faked. I could bluff pretty well because the books I read were mostly mystery. I felt a bit relieved knowing that reading all those books finally paid off. Claude's eyes glared at me and I swear I could've heard a soft growl.

"If you are willing to keep this a secret, then I will cover it for you," he compromised. On the inside, I cheered because I hit the jackpot. I don't know what Sebastian and Claude were exchanging but at least I know they are up to something.

"Great. I'm so…," I pondered on the right word to describe the situation.

"Grateful. The word is grateful," Claude's expression softened as he taught me a new word.

"I'm so grateful! Sorry but give me directions to Ciel's house and get out of here. Do your job!" Claude wrote down instructions for me and I pushed him out the door to see Alois angry at the fact I left him out of the room. I smiled and waved quickly so I could close the door. I threw off all my clothes and changed into the ones I was wearing yesterday. I pinned my hair up but since there wasn't really much left, they hung out loosely. I put on the newsboy hat and opened the large window. I felt the gold intricate swirls that laced the rims of the window and looked down. I was on the third floor of the building and by just looking down at the ground, my heart raced. I was up high and my head started to go in circles. _Okay, I'll jump and land with my feet tucked under my chin_. I gulped down my courage and hoped out of the window. I tried pulling my feet to my chest but it was too late. My body came in contact with the ground. I realized I had landed feet first and my hands tried to support me as my whole body came down. I heard a loud crack somewhere in my right wrist and left ankle. I almost shouted in pain but I bit my tongue to hold it in. Was the outside world full of pain and misery?

I slowly got up and inched forwards to my destination. It was only going to take thirty minutes to walk, but with my ankle, it'll take double the time.

After hours, I don't know the time, I found myself at the foot of a huge estate with a beautiful garden. I looked around and was fascinated by the variations of trees and flowers planted among the walkway. I was getting excited about the birds singing a song as I passed by. It all ended too quickly when I reached the main entrance. I lifted my left hand up to knock but before it hit the wood, the door had opened.

"Good afternoon, sir," the tall black Sebastian greeted me with a small smile, "Please do come in and make yourself at home." I entered the mansion and noticed a small boy on the staircase. His boots reached under his knees. Blue ribbons were attached to his shirt along with one right at his neck. His pants were matching with his outfit. He stood out from the red carpeted stairs and he stood there with his cane.

"It's you again?" Ciel shouted from shock. I had a quick flashback to when I had bounded him with ribbons and let big brother hurt him.

"Sebastian! Why would you let someone who kidnapped me come into my house?"Ciel exclaimed to his disobedient butler.

"It's not what you think," I tried explaining but I knew I didn't make any sense, "Okay, maybe it is but I'm here to apologize. I'm just a stupid person who didn't know you were going to get hurt. I'm so sorry. My name's Carissa, by the way," I bowed. I almost got on my knees to beg for forgiveness but I knew that wouldn't solve anything either.

"Forgiveness isn't easy to receive," Ciel retorted at me. A sharp pain pierced through my heart when I heard those sharp words. Ciel studied my face closely and noticed the bruises and cuts on my face.

"Fine, I forgive you," Ciel quickly changed his mind and I could hear the sympathy from him, "In exchange for what happened; you have to come along with me. I need to go to buy some… materials for work." I giggled knowing Ciel didn't want to say he needed to go shopping. I nodded with excitement and got onto the carriage with me. It'd be fun to hand out with Ciel.

"Why are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday? Is it the only clothes you have?" Ciel bombarded me with questions. I looked at myself and the clothes seemed wrecked. My tattered clothes were incomparable to Ciel's fancy outfit.

"Well, it's just that I wore this so you would recognize me from yesterday," I admitted without hesitation. It wasn't good if I appeared suspicious with Ciel.

"You're a boy, yet you act like a girl. Your language is also the level of a nobleman," Ciel kept observing. _I look like a he-she to him?_

"That is true. But stop talking about me. I want to know more about you," I questioned. I saw him blush a little at my comment but then he smiled gently at me.

"Intriguing, well I suppose you do want to know a little about me. I am a stranger to you." Sebastian opened the door of the black carriage and Ciel hopped out. I got out of the carriage and detected something white and gold. The store in front of us was filled with cute stuffed animals and different kinds of toys.

"The Funtom Company is my favorite shop. Even though I own it, I do love the toys," he glanced towards me but then tried to explain himself better, "Even I get lonely sometimes! I don't want to just do work. I am a child too! I-," Ciel gave up explaining to me. I was laughing so hard and it made Ciel's face turn into a beat red colour.

"Stop laughing at me," Ciel requested and continued to cover his mouth with the back of his hand.

"No, I'm not laughing at you. I just find it funny because I thought you were all serious and businesses like but you're actually pretty lonely. Anyway, let's go on a toy splurge!" I smiled widely and dragged him into the large store. It had aisles and aisles of toys all lined up by the categories they were in. I was filled with joy and raced down the aisle of stuffed toys. I picked a spider stuffed animal and hugged it to my face. It was warm and soft unlike any other toy Alois bought me. I recalled that I left Ciel at the entrance and I tried to retrace my path back to where I came from.

"There you are," Ciel sounded relieved. I took note of the boxes of toys that he had bought. They were piled up in one corner, ready to be carried by Sebastian. How could Ciel have bought all of those in the short time I was gone?

"I'm going to purchase this toy," I grinned as I headed for the store owner.

"Why, isn't this lovely. The two of you must be on a date. It's good to be young again," the store owner teased us. This made me blush and I felt my cheek burning red.

"That- that's not true! He's a boy!" Ciel confronted the man. The owner smiled at me as if he knew that I was a girl, unlike Ciel mistaking me for a boy. I winked at the man and reached into my pocket to pay the man. My fingers searched through the empty pocket and I apprehended that I didn't have money.

"Just put it on my tab," Ciel commanded the man and handed the animal to me. We walked outside and I reasoned with Ciel that we should take a stroll since a park was nearby. I hugged the spider close to my chest as Ciel and I walked along the pavement. Sebastian left to guard the carriage. There were little kids running around playing with their colourful kites. Couples were hanging out on the benches and grandparents were chatting about their past. Everything seemed so calm and peaceful. Not one thing was boring.

"There! That! What is that?" I pointed to a statue of a cupid on top of this weird shaped bowl. Water was flowing out and there were layers of bowls to catch them. I didn't know what else to describe them but it looked so interesting.

"That? You've never seen a fountain before?" Ciel's eyebrows cocked upwards due to my idiocy. I shoved the spider stuffed animal into Ciel's arms and ran towards the "fountain". The rim of the fountain was wet and the water gave off a small rainbow as the droplets trickled down. The top of the fountain was small but the bottom was big enough to fit several people in it. I looked at the floor of the fountain and saw a lot of shiny things down there.

"Oh! There's coins down there!" I squealed and put out my hand to reach for one.

"Careful!" Ciel warned but my right wrist was aching from my fall so I slipped into the fountain. I knocked my head onto the pole of the fountain and my hat and some of the pins fell off. My wrist and ankles started hurting again under the cold water and from catching my second fall. I looked up at Ciel and noticed his face was close to mine.

"You're a girl?" Ciel called out and stumbled backwards. He lost his balance and fell on the floor but the spider stuffed toy cushioned his fall. My clothes were soaked, revealing my curves, and my long blonde hair stuck onto me. I was behind the small waterfall so it looked like Ciel was shining, or even glowing.

"I- I never said I was a boy," I confessed shyly and tried to get up. Ciel retrieved his senses and aided me on getting out of the fountain. His face was still distorted from fright when he led me to a close clothing store. There, I changed into a light golden dress. The frills on the sleeves were satin white and the ribbon in my hair was white. The store owner helped me clean up from before and I felt embarrassed as I troubled them.

When I stepped out of the store, I found Ciel pacing back and forth while clutching onto the stuffed animal. He stopped walking after realizing I was standing next to him. His face turned into a new pinkish red colour.

He covered his face with the spider, "You… uh… you look like an a- a- angel." Ciel stumbled on his words. My eyes widened when he complimented me.

"Ah, no. You're over exaggerating!" I waved my hands all over the place. _I never knew Ciel could think that way_, I thought silently.

"C-come on, Sebastian is waiting for us," Ciel thought of a random excuse. He grabbed my hand and guided me back to the carriage. His grasp was so light and gentle; it almost felt like a feather. I smiled back at him and followed submissively. When we got to the carriage, Sebastian looked at me with hatred and suspicion because he knew which family I belong in. He knew what I was up to. He knew everything.

I got home soon after that and I hide the spider behind my back. I pushed the door lightly to find Claude all stressed out.

"Please come in quickly. I can't hold Alois back any longer," Claude softly pushed me into Alois' room. Brother was frustrated and screaming into his pillow. When he caught sight of me, he jumped up to hug me.

"Where were you? How come you wanted to study in your room all day?" Alois shook my shoulders. Claude's excuse was me studying in my room? Couldn't he have thought of a better excuse?

"Uh, that's right. I have to study all day for the exam Claude is giving to us a day after today!" I went with the flow. It really did seem stupid but I had to go with it. Alois' eyes saw something black behind my back and grabbed it from me.

"What's this? You went out?" Alois was screaming at me. I felt guilty about keeping everything in. I had to tell him.

"I disguised myself just like yesterday and I went out to see Ciel Phantomhive but my clothes got ruined and he bought me new ones. He doesn't know that I'm your sister yet though. I got that spider stuffed animal for you," I explained and closed my eyes, ready for a blow in the face except there was nothing. I reopened my eyes and spotted Alois chuckling. His chuckles slowly turned into laughs.

"This is great. I should have let you out sooner!" Alois laughed on his bed. I looked at him with a curious expression wondering why he wanted me to go out.

"Hmm, tell Ciel you want to meet him tomorrow. I'll just have you go out and lure Ciel here so that I can have him! You might be even more useful than Claude!" Alois snickered at Claude. I could tell that Claude was disgraced even though he wouldn't admit it. I didn't want to trick Ciel again. No, not after last time.

"I'm sorry, brother. I don't want to hurt Ciel again. I won't trick hi-," I didn't get to continue because I heard a loud smack. I didn't process what happened until I felt a horrible burning sting on my left cheek. My bruise on the cheek bone ached so much and a tear almost escaped my eye.

"You will do as I say," Alois glared at me with menacing eyes. I tried not to shudder at his coldness and stared back at him. Alois handed me the phone and he dialed Ciel's number. My shaky hands went out and grabbed the phone. After a few rings it clicked and a static voice spoke through it.

"Hello? This is the Phantomhive household," my mouth moved reluctantly and words I didn't want to say were spoken.

"Hi, this is Carissa. I might be a bother since we just departed, but I was wondering if you had plans tomorrow," my voice shook over the phone. _Please say you're busy tomorrow._

"Sorry, I'm busy tomorrow. I have to go to a picnic tomorrow with my fiancé. Would you like to join us though? That is, if your parents say it's okay," Ciel offered. I was happy he had plans but depressed that he invited me. I turned around to face Alois and he nodded.

"Yeah, that would be lovely. Thanks," I tried to sound… grateful for his invite. I swiftly hung up on Ciel and ran to my room. This was unfair. I'm being used to Alois again. What kind of hateful human being am I to be betraying Ciel for the second time?

I could hear Alois' chuckles from across the hallway and it echoed into my room.

**Okay, so I have problems with tenses and show not tell stuff. I'm so sorry. I'll get my friend to edit this soon**

**Criticism is worth more than a praise. Please, my chapters are getting REALLY boring and REALLY clichéd. Oh my god...**

**:) Hope you like it?**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The last button slipped into the hole it was designated to go in my dress. I threw away the hat Alois prepared for me since I hated the design. This sun dress was skimpy and light, unlike any other clothing I wore. I still wore a white long sleeved jacket over my dress so that I wouldn't show a lot of skin. I also didn't want to get sunburned. Hannah taught me some manners I needed to show guests such as greeting them and nodding my head to make the conversation more interesting. I don't see how this really helped but I stashed it somewhere in my brain.

I tucked my chair in the table and felt a strange twist on my wrist.

"Please be careful with yourself," someone spoke with gentleness and I looked to the left. Claude kneeled down and bandaged my wrist. He tied it so tightly that I could barely bend my hand. Then he moved on to my ankle and repeated the process.

"If you ever want to escape from your room, just call me. I'll help you down," Claude offered and ripped off the excess bandages, "Don't strain yourself." He sounded so concerned for me and I had to ask him why.

"Why, Claude? Why are you also so calm and nice when you're around me?" I questioned. I guessed that it was because I threatened him about his negotiations.

"You give off such a peaceful aura. It's hard not to keep up with it," Claude explained and quickly left the room. He left me all fixed up and confused. He didn't answer my question.

I peeked out of the window and watched as a midnight blue carriage rolled up to the front entrance. A tall black butler opened the door for his master. Ciel stepped out of the carriage to knock on the door. I had to open the door before anyone else, fearing that Ciel would figure out that I was a Trancy. I sighed and walked downstairs to greet Ciel. My boots were clanking on the floor with every step and I got a bit annoyed since I wanted to be quiet. I walked out the door and saw Ciel dressed in a long blue coat with a big dark blue ribbon in his collar. He wore shorts and his usual socks that went up to his knees. His shoes were different since he wore black and white sneakers. Ciel had a huge black bow tied to the back of his waist. He looked so huggable, just like when I first saw him in the trunk Sebastian was carrying around with him. His small figure made him look cute.

"Lady Carissa, please join me in opening a new floodgate for the Phantomhive property," Ciel presented his hand and I took it. I gave him a small nod and peered inside the carriage. There, I saw a cute blonde girl dressed in pink. Her curls were enormous and the pink dress looked fabulous on her. She's such a pretty girl. Wait! This is Ciel's fiancée?

"Oh! She's absolutely adorable! What's your name? Mine's Elizabeth but you can call Lizzy," Elizabeth squealed. Ciel got in the carriage and sat down next to her while I was seated across from those two.

"My name's Carissa. Nice to meet you, Lizzy," I greeted the pretty girl. I've never met someone that looked so outgoing and cute. She was definitely suited to be Ciel's fiancée. My heart started aching for no apparent reason and I tried to hide my hurt expression.

For the rest of the trip, we rode on a boat down the river. They never told me which river the boat was floating across on so I never asked. Elizabeth and I talked about girl topics like dresses and boys. Ciel didn't want to listen in to our girly conversation so he took a nap on the boat. His sleeping figure was beautiful. His blue hair swayed tenderly with the wind and he looked so relaxed. I closed my eyes and imagined sleeping right next to him.

"This area has been plagued by floods for a long time. I am delighted at the addition of a new floodgate on the Phantomhive lands, and it is all thanks to your support," Ciel recited from his memory, "I intend to fully commit myself to the difficult task of flood control, as my family before me has for generations." His speech went on but I could see some effort in trying to shorten it. Elizabeth had wandered around the place and explored everything out of curiosity. I sat down on a chair near the yellow tent that was set up for some light snacks. I felt a bit faint and nauseated but I blinked hard, trying to keep myself from falling unconscious.

Ciel welcomed everyone and chatted happily with each guest that had arrived to watch him open the new dam.

"Ciel!" Elizabeth shouted and stuffed the newspaper article in Ciel's face.

"Come on, Elizabeth, I can't see it like this," he grabbed her wrists and pulled back the paper at a reading level. Elizabeth looked so excited but I didn't have the energy to get up and see what was going on.

"It's a deer! There's an ever so rare and elusive deer on a hill right near here! It's a white stag that brings happiness!" her voice shouted with joy. The childish Elizabeth skipped around Ciel. Her high pitched voice almost made me want to close my ear. Ciel's face showed that he was confused about whatever she was talking about.

"Yes, I've heard of this legend. It seems as if it brings fortune to those who received that message," Sebastian cleared Ciel's confusion.

"That's just a fairy-tale," Ciel retorted and folded the newspaper.

"No! It's true. There are several witnesses. Ne, Ciel. Let's search for it," Elizabeth tugged at Ciel's sleeve. She tried to beg as hard as she could but Ciel and just looked away from her.

"I refuse. I'm very busy," Ciel put it bluntly but when he looked up, he saw Elizabeth on the verge of crying. The tears formed in the corner of her eyes. Ciel jumped from surprise when her tears fell.

"You're so mean…," she started to say but she cried out loud.

"Oh well, to make his fiancée cry," a man whispered to someone who looked like his wife. "Well well, in this case, my niece might have still a chance," women gossiped. _If your niece has a chance, then I might have a chance as well,_ I smirked at my thought. I started to daydream about me and Ciel as newlyweds and… I shook the thought away knowing that I'll never be married to Ciel as long as I'm a member of the Trancy.

Ciel sighed and ordered Sebastian for a boat, "Lady Elizabeth, I would like to go down the river to the water gate for inspection. Will you accompany me while going downward the river? In that occasion, I heard a rare white deer lives around there," Ciel offered his hand to Elizabeth and she happily looped her hand around Ciel's arm. I bit my lip and clenched my fist together. How could I just be a bystander and an audience to these two people? So what if they're engaged? I was cursing at myself until I noticed something blue in front of me. My eye widened when I saw Ciel's inviting hand. My right hand involuntarily moved up to take his hand. He wrapped it around his arm and led both of us to away from the crowd.

"Wow, so that kid is a womanizer? Getting two girls at once, how's that possible when she's not his fiancée?" a woman from behind complained. I smirked and looked at Elizabeth.

"Still friends?" I almost giggled at her, but what I had done was wicked. Her mouth turned into a frown and I knew that she was jealous. I had intruded their lovely day and voyage in seeking the white deer. Oh how much more mischievous things could I do?

Ciel changed into his green hunting uniform. He wore a green hat with a black ribbon on the top. Sebastian fixed his ribbon that tied his white collar together and put on Ciel's matching military green coat. Elizabeth chose a blue dress along with brown lacings and waist band. Her hat was also brown to correspond with her outfit. I simply got in a light purple dress. It went up to my knees but I had black boots on to cover up the rest of my skin that was showing. Ciel led both of us into the boat and Sebastian started to row away. Elizabeth was energetically looking for the white deer wile Ciel looked bored inside the boat. I looked around and found the servants talking among one another.

"A cancellation of Master and Lady Elizabeth is out of the question! It must be our young Master and Lady Elizabeth! No one else!" a rose pink haired girl with large circular glasses spoke. If they were trying to keep this a secret conversation, they weren't trying their hardest.

"But what about that other girl? What's her name, Carissa? She's interfering. It's like she came out of nowhere and started to talk to the young Master," an adorable blonde kid with cute red pins in his hair pointed out. _I'm interfering?_

"True. It should only be the young Master and Lady Elizabeth, you take care of that!" a cigarette smoker with weird blue goggles hanging around his neck commanded. They all put their hands together and scattered away to put their plan in action. By the time they finished their conversation, I was already out of hearing range and the sound of water splashing overcame the silent air. _Am I really that annoying? They're probably going to try to annihilate me._ I shivered at my own thought.

"Come on, Carissa," a lovely voice stirred me from my fantasy. The boat had stopped and Sebastian was preparing lunch in a nearby open space in the forest. Elizabeth and Ciel were already off the boat, leaving me behind in my seat. I hopped out of the small ferry and skipped to where everyone was.

"It's called phantom because it's hard to find, isn't it?" Ciel started a conversation to ease the awkward silence.

"Of course it is. That's the definition of rare," I replied cockily. Then I covered my mouth knowing that I should be careful of what I say. My attitude was beginning to change.

"Alright! Let's eat our lunch and then do our best looking for it!" Elizabeth cheered and clapped her hands. Sebastian set down the picnic baskets on the clothed table.

"Today's menu features shrimp salad, salmon pâté, and sandwiches with Cheshire cheese," Sebastian listed out all the different delicious foods that Claude had never made before. My mouth watered at sound of each dish but when Sebastian opened the first basket, a strange sound came out from it. It sounded like a pig.

"Say, didn't you hear a strange sound just now?" Elizabeth wondered and searched around for the source as to where the sound came from.

"I'm terribly sorry. My hand merely slipped," Sebastian apologized to us and tried to cover up his mistake.

"That's okay. I'm pretty sure we didn't just hear a pig from the basket," I smiled at  
>Sebastian only to find him glaring at me. Damn my mouth for slipping again. What is wrong with me?<p>

"That's quite unusual for Sebastian," Elizabeth observed closely. Ciel had a blank stare at his incompetent butler. Sebastian opened another straw woven basket and released four pigeons. They all flew in different directions but with his quick reflexes, Sebastian quickly snatched them and placed them back into the bag. Ciel sighed deeply and grew tired of Sebastian's jokes.

"Ha… Jesus, what are you playing around?" Ciel demanded of his butler. Sebastian excused himself, leaving us three quiet on the picnic blanket. We stared at one another with awkward silence hanging above our heads. I was going to nervously laugh to fill in the tension but Sebastian was back already. How did he get back here so quickly and with a delicious looking food on the plate?

"A soufflé made of Käse and lobster. Also roasted pigeons in bouillon," Sebastian introduced us to a new dish. The sauce was placed perfectly on the pigeons and the lobster was aligned with the small tomato and soufflé. It looked like a French cuisine with all the small bite snacks. I almost drooled at the smell of it.

"Isn't this different from the menu you listed before?" Elizabeth questioned but I could care less.

"Yes, I changed the menu to match the local food," Ciel's butler explained.

I picked up the fork and put the lobster in my mouth. The taste made my mouth water more than it already had. The taste of sweet and sour sauce spread on my tongue and it made me tingle. I wonder why I was so hungry. I looked at Ciel and noticed he wasn't eating much. My fork picked up more food each time, trying so hard as to not look like I wasn't showing any manners.

"After lunch time, we'll continue the search!" Elizabeth decided without any of our consent. I felt something strange coming up my throat and excused myself. I ran deeper into the forest that was next to the picnic table. I stopped running until my breath ran out and my legs went numb. I clutched on a tree and vomited onto the ground. The stench was horrifying and the acidic juice burned my throat. I fell on my knees, panting and wanting to call for help. I almost fell forward until someone caught me.

"You're pale and thinner than last time I saw you," Sebastian stated the obvious. I grabbed onto his shirt and tried pulling myself up but my knees were shaking. My stomach grumbled and prepared itself to make another round of vomit. I choked, trying to throw up anything I had inside it but I ended up with a lame cough. There was nothing left in my stomach.

"You haven't been eating, so when you ate all the rich food, your digestive system couldn't take it all at once," Sebastian pulled out a container full of pills and handed one to me, "Have you been eating?" I thought back and realized I had fasted for a day and a half. Alois didn't call me for dinner and I forgot about it until now. It was a miracle my stomach wasn't craving for food. My fatigue overcame me and my eyelids felt droopy. I stared into his crimson eyes, searching for a reason to trust him to take the pill.

"Why… would you be so nice to me? You know who I am," the sound of my voice told Sebastian that I need the pill but my ego wouldn't let me take it from him.

"They say, keep your friends close, but keep your enemy closer," he chuckled and offered the pill to me for the last time. I ignored the overly used quote and snatched the pill. I swallowed it down, hoping I wouldn't die from trusting him. I had only realized I was sweating when Sebastian wiped my sweat with his handkerchief. He escorted me back to where everyone was and I could see Elizabeth getting angry.

The clouds began to cover the sun. The water thrashed around violently. Rain began to pour down and soak through everyone's clothes. The guests scattered around, trying to get to their carriages and cars for shelter.

"Elizabeth, we can look for it next time," Ciel attempted to persuade Elizabeth to stop searching for the white deer.

"He's right you know," I sided with Ciel and noticed my energy was restored quickly due to the pill Sebastian gave me.

"The deer are hiding in this rain!" Ciel grabbed her shoulders and tried to put some sense into her.

Elizabeth shook her head hard, "I'm going to find the white deer! Ciel you… Ciel you idiot! You don't understand my feelings." She dashed off ahead, running with tears in her eyes. I pitied Elizabeth because of Ciel's idiocy.

"Elizabeth?" he called out into the open air.

"Idiot," I called Ciel, "She's just trying to help you find happiness!" I ran off to chase after Elizabeth. My eyes finally espied Elizabeth standing near a boat.

"Elizabeth, what are you doing?" I shouted, trying to be heard over the loud rain. She pulled the boat closer and stepped into the swaying boat.

"I'm going to find that deer for Ciel," she stood up straight and looked me in the eye, "You've been a bother since you got on the carriage." I almost let out a gasp when Elizabeth was being straightforward with me. I'm a nuisance?

"Ciel and I are engaged. We're betrothed. Don't ever think you'll be with Ciel," Elizabeth nearly growled at me. I had a quick flashback and remembered all the moments Ciel treated Elizabeth with kindness that he never showed me. I wanted to choke on my tears but I held my ground. My fingers turned into fists and my teeth gritted together.

"You're just taking out your anger about not finding the white deer out on me. You really don't hate me. You don't think I'm annoying and you know that I am who Ciel cares about the most," I retorted at her. Her face couldn't hide the fact that all of what she said was a bluff.

"You're wrong! I've been with Ciel since we were kids. I know what he's like. You've never even seen what his smile looks like!" she screamed at me and sat down on the boat. The river splashed cold water on her but she was already wet. I'll try reverse psychology.

"Just get on the boat. See if I care. You're putting yourself in danger," I smirked at her but the reverse psychology didn't work. She let go of the rope that tied the boat to a post on land. She swung around brutally on the small boat and she clung to the rim of the ferry.

"Stupid! Look what you've done," I muttered underneath my breath. I stepped forward, wanting to help but I stopped. My ankle still ached along with my wrist. Claude said it wouldn't heal until another few days. I bit my lip and shouted for help.

"Somebody!" I yelled into the air and before I realized, a blue haired child ran past me and jumped into the river. I stood there like an imbecile while my heart shattered. Ciel went in the river to save Elizabeth. He went in to save her. A loud splash sprayed me with water and I managed to evade it from getting into my eyes.

"Ciel! What are you doing?" I got on my knees and screamed at Ciel. He grabbed onto the rope and slowly pulled himself closer to the boat.

"Stop it Ciel, I must find the white deer!" Elizabeth's persistency never ceased to end. A flood began to form at the floodgate. I glanced upward to see Sebastian on the gate. If he smashes the gate now, the boat will turn over! With just a punch from his fist, Sebastian's power cracked the entire old stone floodgate. The water rushed through the remains of rocks and the boat tipped over. I threw off my coat and dived into the deep water.

Ciel's grasp on the rope loosened and Elizabeth was sinking. Ciel was drowning but his eyes opened wide enough to see me swim through his direction. His arm reached out to me but I swam past him. My goal was to save Elizabeth. I got to the poor girl and grabbed her hand and tried to pull her up to the surface. I couldn't pull and swim at the same time but I had to figure out a way. I unwrapped the bandages on my right wrist and tied it to Elizabeth's hand. Both of our hands were tied together as we swam up to the shore. My wrist had already swollen and pained me but I clenched my teeth tight to make the pain go away. My head reached the top and I gasped for air. I pulled Elizabeth up from the water and pumped her chest. When she regained conscious, I turned my head to the right and focused on Ciel. Sebastian had carried him to shore and propped him up on a tree. When he opened his eyes, Elizabeth immediately jumped on top of him.

"Ciel! I'm sorry! I'm very sorry, Ciel!" she squealed and hugged him. Then she searched around until her eyes landed on me.

"Thank you, Carissa. You saved my life," Elizabeth charged towards me to give me a hug but I dodged her attack and let her hug the air instead.

"No thanks, I don't need a hug from you," I brushed myself and faced the sun. I was hoping the warmth from the sun would help dry my dress and give me a warm feeling. The water was back to its original state: peaceful. The sky was filled with birds and a faint rainbow made its appearance near one of the mountains far away.

"Please forgive me for all I've said to you. I've been cruel and horrible to you," she sincerely apologized to me. I looked at her and denied the fact that she was begging for forgiveness.

"No," I replied and walked away from her. I didn't want to explain to her that she shouldn't ask for forgiveness from an enemy. Then again, she doesn't know if I was an enemy or not. I strode to where Ciel sat and examined him for any bruises. He looked at me with a kind expression, even after knowing I dove into the water not to save him.

"We weren't able to find the white deer," Ciel admitted with a hint of disappointment in his voice. There was also a sad part inside my heart that we couldn't find it.

"If you mean the white phantom deer, it's on that hill," Sebastian pointed out to us. All of us, Ciel's servants and friends, Elizabeth, Ciel and I ran up the hill. When we reached the top of the hill we all looked down to find the white deer. It was a valley filled with water in a shape of a deer.

"That's it!" Ciel exclaimed. I stared at it long and hard, not believing we found the deer.

"I'm glad we found it. Isn't it great? Now you'll be filled with happiness!" Elizabeth grabbed Ciel's hand. Her grip on his hand tightened. My chest turned heavy and I didn't know why my heart keeps aching. As soon as Ciel realized he was holding Elizabeth's hand, he quickly shook it off, as gently as he could, and faced towards me.

"I might be selfish," Ciel looked away with a small blush on his cheeks, "I didn't spend… time with you as much as I wanted. I would like to invite you to a dinner. Not tomorrow, the day after that. Of course, if you have the time." Ciel rambled on, trying to hide his nervousness but I put a finger on his mouth. I saw Elizabeth getting a bit angry because Ciel rejected her but I couldn't help myself from smiling as wide as possible.

"Yes, I would love to have dinner with you."

**I tried editing myself but sitting on the couch is making my butt hurt and so I gave up on it... I'll fix it later (when my butt stops hurting)**

**This is the last time I'll ever refer to the anime for exact quotes and plots because it is really annoying to look back and forth. I hate writing scenes that include Elizabeth in it because then Carissa seem as if she's useless. (too bad there's going to be more of her) **

**Ignore my rushing through and boring scenes. It's not my fault if I followed the anime and episode 2 was just that boring. YOU BETTER LOVE MY STORY! hehe jkjk but still...**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

**On May 20****th****, 2011, 6:00 p.m. EASTERN TIME ZONE, this story's title will change from **_**Torn Between Two Love**_** to **_**The Raining Tears of an Angel.**_

"_You horrible slut!" my mother screamed at me. The back of her palm came across my face. The stinging welts slowly appeared on my right cheek. I clutched onto the bed sheets to cover my bare body. Tears wouldn't stop flowing out of my eyes. _

"_How could you?" she hit my other cheek, "I hate you!" Father was losing business because he spent money on liquor and recklessly buying random stocks. Multiple companies fought over for our corporation. So my dad sent me, a young child who was barely eight years-old, to sleep with their sons and gain over their trust. I have always been a tool for people, and an object for pleasure. A tap on the door to my room rang through and the door swung open. A blonde teenager strode in the room gracefully with a tall man behind him. He offered about a hundred thousand pounds for me. My mother's eyes glistened as she shoved me towards the guy. I tripped on the clothes on the floor but the blonde kid caught me. My naked body felt the warmth of his hands as he dragged me away. _

I awoken from my dream and realized I was in a bed. The sun was shining and brightened the room from the window. I could hear the birds chirping outside and I closed my eyes. My arms went limp and they shook tremendously. Was my dream a premonition or my past? My dream seemed so real, it confused me as to how Alois appeared in it.

"Carissa," a seductive voice engulfed me. I turned around and caught a glimpse of golden blonde hair swayed in front of my eyes. A cold tongue licked my neck and I shivered.

"Brother," I tried to stop him, "Please, I want…" my voice trailed off. He began to unbuttoned my shirt. I pushed him away with all my might and I watched him fall to the ground with a loud thud.

"Carissa?" he patted his pants as he got up from the floor. I quickly fixed my shirt and got on the edge of the bed.

"I want to travel around the world!" my mouth blurted out randomly. I needed to distract Alois so that he would stop whatever was on his mind. Alois jerked back in surprise but started to laugh.

"Great idea!" he clapped his hands together, "Claude!" Claude stepped in the room and bowed at Alois.

"My lady, if you come with me," Claude offered his hand and I took it. After a few words with Alois, he led me into a different room to change my outfit. The outfit was a hunting uniform with a buttoned shirt and pants. The fabric of my shirt and pants were covered in spots of brown and green on it. Then, Claude slung on a small carry-on bag, in case I find something extraordinary on my voyage. I tugged on my shirt and for some reason, my face showed embarrassment that I was dressed similar to Alois.

"Carissa! To the backyard!" Alois shouted happily and dragged me outside. I felt the cold breeze blow against my face and the blinding sun towered over me. Until my eyes focused, I smelled pine trees. We never had pine trees in our estate. I looked up, amazed at the huge towering trees. Birds were chirping and snakes hissed into the air. I turned to my left and realized that Alois was next to me. His beautiful golden hair rocked gently in the breeze and his bright smile.

"We're traveling around the world in our backyard. First stop, a tropical rain forest in Brazil," Alois explained as he stepped into the wilderness, "Each 'world' is about one point six kilometers and three point two kilometers wide. I had to combine five sightseeing places in our backyard." He lifted a tree branch for me and I ducked my head. It smelled just like what a forest would be. There were fruits on trees and small animals lounging around the branches. Twigs would break every time I stepped on one of them. The trees were green, the grass was green, and the moss was green. Everything was so green. How was this possible?

"Claude is making a small replica of the forest," Alois guided me deeper in the jungle. What amazed me were the monkeys that swung from one branch to another. The exotic creatures were swarming us.

"This is so cool! Thanks brother!" I smiled and skipped around the area. I studied the mushrooms and began to collect several of them. I had yellow, blue, green with red spots and black mushrooms. They all looked so cute.

"This matches you," Alois showed me the white and gold hibiscus and gently placed it in my hair, "Now you look beautiful." Brother gave me a huge smile and opened his arm. I ran to him as he hugged me tight. In the end, I still love big brother Alois. I put the mushrooms I collected and walked deeper into the forest. Alois broke into his happy dance again while shouting olé over and over.

After a few more minutes of walking –more like keeping up with Alois' dance– a strong wind came and blew us towards the right. My hair covered my eyes as the wind pushed, causing me to trip and fall on all fours. The sun beat down on us when the wind stopped. I scrapped my knee on the rock ground surface and looked up to see where I was. I realized it wasn't the rainforest anymore. Alois and I were standing on a huge cliff.

"Welcome to the Grand Canyon in America," brother announced with an intention of imitating a tour guide, "Try screaming here!" He shouted into the open void, the echo traveled kilometers away from our standing point. I peeked down noticed there was no water at the bottom of the canyon. I smiled and got up from the floor, taking in a deep breath, ready to shout, enough to shout so that anything in the area would be able to hear, and screamed, "I like bread!" The echoes were so loud; some of the rocks came off the sides of the canyon and fell to the deep abyss. It was like an avalanche.

"What are we doing here?" I questioned big brother. I pondered at the thought of us just screaming into space for hours and hours straight, nonstop. My throat would hurt at the end.

"Don't worry, I won't make you scream until you lose your voice," Alois smiled as if he used telepathy to figure out what I was thinking, "You need that tomorrow." He skipped along the dangerous edge of the cliff. I figured that if Claude had made this, it wouldn't be that hazardous. I looked ahead to where Alois skipped and realized that the rode curved so that we'd be heading to the other biome.

"You done with the canyon? I've got something even better!" brother grabbed my hand, excited, pulled me to the shady area ahead. It was all foggy and difficult to make out what laid ahead. _Oh, surprise me, Claude. _

We kept walking forward until my foot hit something hard. Stones? No, stairs? I took another step up as I tried to confirm if they were stairs. My foot hit another stoned stair and I tripped on myself. My left ankle twisted in the wrong way and I winced in pain.

"Come on, Carissa," Alois urged impatiently.

"But my ankle hurts," I whined a bit. I rubbed my ankle and felt my body go up. Brother Alois carried me bridal style up the huge stairway. His chest felt warm and his heart beat sounded so melancholy.

"Why are you sad?" I whispered softly into the foggy air. I felt Alois tense up and his grip on me tightened.

"Everyone has something sad in their hearts," his soothing voice reassured me, "Besides, it's this fog that's making me feel heavy." Even in the dark misty air, I could kind of make out what brother's face showed pain and suffering. I lay my head on his chest and waiting until brother climbed the top of the stairs. It felt like forever but eventually, Alois put me down on the solid rock. The mist scattered away, revealing the bright landscapes. All a person could see was green grasslands. The sea of grass waved gently in the air as I walked to the edge of the wall. Wait, wall?

I looked to my left and my eyes widened when I tried to recall my memory of where we were.

"The Great Wall of China? What are we doing here?" I sounded surprised. Alois laughed as he pulled me to run along the wall. The stone wall stretched beyond the human's eyes. It seemed as if it never ended. I ran halfway across the whole wall until I felt something weird.

"Uh, Alois?" I tugged on his sleeve but he kept running. I tripped since he didn't stop and grabbed onto my shirt.

"What is it?"

"Uh… how do I put this?" I bit my lip so hard, I could taste a bit of blood from it. He ran back to where I was, on the floor, and examined me carefully.

"Is something hurting?" he worried and I half shook my head.

"I NEED TO GO TO THE POWDER ROOM!" I shouted at him. From the loudness of my voice, Alois stumbled backwards due to shock.

"What? Now? We're in the middle of the wall! Can't you keep it in?"

"No, I can't," I tried standing up but it made the situation even worse. Alois face palmed and picked me up. He put me on his shoulder as if I was a sack of grain and dashed down the opposite way, heading towards the stairs.

"I can't believe you!" he cursed at me. I wanted to apologize and tell him to run faster. Just when I couldn't hold it in anymore, Alois reached the stairs of the wall. I felt delighted, knowing our destination was near, up until he tripped in mid-air and both of us tumbled down. I rolled down the hundreds of granite stairs. Bruises started emerging and I felt something stop me from rolling. I looked up and noticed Claude caught me in his right arm with Alois in his left arm.

"Do you still need the lavatory?" Claude questioned. I forgot all about it when I was crashing down the stairs. I shook my head and looked at Alois. He was as battered up as me, with small cuts and scrapes on his bare skin.

"It's intriguing knowing both of you would get injured from an illusion of sightseeing places. I prefer it if you suspend this action until further notice of safety precautions," Claude explained the situation with a large range of vocabulary.

"Just take us back. I also have business that I've been avoiding," Alois frowned, remembering he his work papers.

Claude carried us back and led me to the powder room that was connected to my room. I disinfected my cuts and put an ice cold towel on my bruise. I pressed it against my face and walked out the door to see Alois leaning on the door frame. His face had a small band aid on cheek. His arm had a small bandage on it as well but other than that, he was fine.

"You better get rid of that ugly bruise," Alois smirked and pushed the cloth harder on my face, "You'll need that pretty face of yours to swoon Ciel's heart." I almost let out a gasp but it ended up as a gawk at his statement. I had forgotten all about getting Ciel for Alois. I didn't want to be bait for Alois to capture Ciel, not when…

"I know you're in love with him, which will be beneficial to me," he chuckled softly as if he hit the jackpot. The tips of my lips dropped into a frown and denial rushed through me.

"I'm not in love with Ciel!" I pushed him away and walked into my room. Before I knew it, he grabbed my wrist, making the broken bone twist in a horrible way.

"I own you," his eyes narrowed and the blue color of his eyes darkened, "You will find out his weakness and use it against him." His finger left bruising welts on my wrist when he let go. His eyes caught something shiny and walked towards my yo-yo that laid on my small desk next to my bed. When he crossed the room, he picked up the yo-yo and threw it on the floor. It shattered into a million pieces of plastic.

"Like this yo-yo, I'll break you if you do not follow my orders," brother left the room, slamming the door. I bent down to pick up the pieces, carefully not hurting my fingers, and my eyes blurred. Tears dripped but I cried silently. It was the only gift he personally bought for me. It was something precious to me. It felt as if a bond between us siblings and been broken.

The day had started out with big brother being gently with me but that fantasy dream never stayed. It always came back to my regular nightmare of having to be with Alois. Brother told me about the horrors of outside. I've seen three amazing sightseeing views, raining storms, and nice people everywhere. The terror of the outside world wasn't the scariest I've seen. Out of them all, Alois was still the cruelest.


	7. Chapter 7

**Because I rated this story T, I have to warn you about the kissing scene (sigh). Well, now you know it, excuse my writing errors again.**

Chapter 7

"Claude," I panted while aiming to kick his head, "Is this really necessary? It's been five hours since I've been fighting you," He dodged it by grabbing my leg and lifted me off the ground. I was dangling upside down as he held me by my ankle.

"It is necessary. You will thank me later for this," he chuckled, figuring that I had given up on the fight. I smirked and did an upside down curl up to punch him in the face. He threw me down to the ground in order to dodge my punch but I knocked him off his feet by swinging my leg. Claude lost his balance and fell over, landing on the floor.

"You are getting better at this," he complimented as he fixed his glasses. He got up and patted his clothes to get rid of the dirt. I wiped my sweat with the back of my hand. For a moment, an image of my dream from yesterday flashed in my mind, making me curious about it.

"Claude, is it possible to brainwash someone so much that their past could be altered?" I asked while trying to regain my normal breathing rate. His eyes narrowed, suspicious that I would know his darkest secret.

"Yes it is possible," he replied slowly, thinking through his words carefully. I turned my head to the door when I heard a small click. Alois came striding in the room to hug my tightly.

"Oh, Carissa! Today will be a wonderful day in where you will get Ciel for me by making him fall in love with you!" Alois smiled and let go of the hug. Then he dragged me away from the room I was already in, into his bedroom. He stripped me of my clothes, which consisted of a loose t-shirt with boots that went up higher than my knees. Brother meant to push me into the tub full of water, but push turned into shove and I fell into the tub. The water was lukewarm but clean.

"Let's get you ready for dinner!" big brother sang happily. He scrubbed me clean, using all his might. It hurt my skin but I had to bear with it. After a harsh bath, Alois brought out a corset for me. My eyes widened as it fell onto the strange cloth with strings hanging out of it. I never really had to wear one before since my waist was already very thin. I bit my lip as Alois slipped it on me and started to tie up the laces.

"It's got to be extra tight today!" he pulled as hard as he could and I could feel my insides squish together. It was hard to breathe with everything so tight, especially when Alois pulled the strings. When he finished, he brought out a beautiful blue dress. It had frills and laces on the sleeves and bottom of the dress. The top was a beautiful cerulean blue and the rest was white. I noticed that on the sleeves where gold swirls framing the edges of the cloth. On my back, I had a gigantic blue ribbon tied across my waist.

"Alois, this makes me look kind of old. Isn't this style of fashion for older women?" I examined the dress carefully. Brother tied a big dark blue bow around my waist. The ends of the bow hung loosely on the dress.

"With the bow, you don't look that bad. You look like an angel," Alois presented me in front of a mirror. I twirled around, looking at the design of the dress.

"Thank you big brother," I smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Brother escorted me down to the main door and outside to the carriage.

"Claude will drive you and stay in the shadows if you ever need him," Alois told me as he ordered Claude. For some reason, Alois had the saddest face I've ever seen before. Claude nodded and opened the door of the jet black carriage.

"But isn't Claude always with you?" I questioned Alois, knowing he always needed Claude with him at all times.

"Don't worry about me. I have four other useless servants in the house," he kissed my hand good-bye as I hopped into the carriage. With a snap of a whip, the horses whined and dragged the carriage towards my destination. The moon was bright but disappearing. There were only small shadows of trees and houses of the town. I sighed, not knowing if I was supposed to be excited to be going to the Phantomhive manor or not.

When we arrived at the large wooden door, Sebastian greeted us with kindness.

"Welcome to the Phantomhive household. My master has ordered me to give you the highest hospitality we can give. Please, right this way," Sebastian guided me inside, leaving Claude to silently hide the carriage and himself in the enormous garden. I entered the ballroom and noticed Ciel dressed in a blue over coat with matching shorts. He wore heeled boots and a cute small hat on his head. His outfit was surprisingly similar to mine, making me feel more comfortable.

"Welcome. You look lovely today, Lady Carissa," he offered his hand, taking me from Sebastian. Sebastian excused himself to prepare for supper, letting Ciel and I in peace. This mansion was grand and lively, unlike the Trancy household. Alois didn't do much to brighten the room. We walked through a narrow hallway covered in red carpet as he gave me a quick tour around the house.

"This is the music room. My parents-," Ciel explained.

"Oh! A piano!" I squealed and let go of Ciel's hand. I pulled out the chair and sat down, fingering the keys. It was an old piano, but it sounded marvelously.

"Do you know how to play the piano?" he took a seat next to me. I shook my head lightly, embarrassed that I didn't have a musical talent.

"I could only play one piece, nothing else," I titled my head as I tried to remember how it went. It was a slow and sad song, I liked it because it was the only song I could put my feelings into it.

"Play it. I would like to hear it," he smiled at me. His smile made my heart flutter and my cheeks flush pink. I bit my lip and placed my fingers on the keys. The keys felt cold on my fingertips but I ignored the feeling. I played the song, slow and sad.

"That is a beautiful song," Ciel commented as he closed his eyes to listen to it carefully. I got to an intense part, hoping I wouldn't screw up in front of Ciel. I heard a small thud and loud gasp as my fingers slipped off the keys. It was a disgusting sound but I turned to look at Ciel. He collapsed onto the floor, shaking with fear. What was happening?

"Ciel!" I crouched down and saw him sweating. He began hyperventilating as his pupils shrunk. He gripped onto his hair in pain and looked as if he had a horrifying flashback. I reached out to pat his head but the back of his hand slapped mine away.

"Don't touch me!" he shouted and snapped back to reality, "Carissa?" I held my hand with tears threatening to spill. I didn't want to cry, but I had no control of my tears. I didn't want to show him my weakness. I hate pain, just like anyone else, and I can't help it if I hurt Ciel or vice versa.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that," Ciel took out his handkerchief and wiped my tears away. This was so embarrassing, especially when I was crying only because I was shocked.

"Bocchan, dinner is served," Sebastian came in the room and announced. I could see a bit of surprise in his eyes as he took in what was happening between me and Ciel.

"It's about time," Ciel got up to brush himself and then offered his arm. I wrapped my hand around his arm as he led me to the dining room. We walked in silence, but suddenly we past the room.

"Wait, didn't we just pass the room?" my face showed I was confused. Ciel smiled and held my hand tighter, guiding me to the courtyard. Sebastian opened the door leading to the outside and the smell of roses and carnation flowed all around me. I looked around and noticed the garden was full of all types of flowers, especially poinsettias. The lighting was dim but bright enough to see every pebble in the garden. The colour theme was a pure white and pale blue, which were something calm and soothing. Something pink and yellow caught my eye, hiding in the bush. I saw three heads peeking out and then giggled; knowing Ciel's servants were trying to keep close to their master while disguised. I walked around the amazing flower beds with Ciel trailing behind me. I saw a five white petal flower growing in the ground. It was overshadowed by the Pansy's Black Prince flower. It was strange when Ciel bent down to pluck it from its roots.

"Here," he wiped the flower and put it behind my ear, "Its full name is Carissa bispinosa. It has the same name as you." He smiled so gently and I made me want to hug him. No, I must not fall in love with Ciel!

"Thank you!" Suddenly, I remembered the scene where Alois gave me the hibiscus. For some reason, it pained me to have Ciel do the same thing as Alois… but why? He lifted me up and walked me to the dining table. It wasn't the usual annoying long table that every noble had. It was a small round table, draped with a white cloth and a mini candle in the middle. I sat down in the chair and looked at the silverware. There were only a fork and a knife with a small white plate.

"I hope keeping things on the smaller scale is okay for you. I don't usually eat like this, so I was thinking if it was fine," he explained with a bit of embarrassment in his voice. I grinned widely, assuring him it was okay.

"No, I prefer it like this. Long tables are hassle." Sebastian walked into our scene and placed a small plate of food onto the table.

"Today's dish consists of Main lobster on top French spaghetti and drizzled with parmesan cheese. Please enjoy the meal," he recited the menu and winked at me. Was it me or Sebastian being nice me? I picked up the knife and fork and began cutting the lobster. It looked so delicious I cut it quickly. There a quick sharp pain in my right wrist and I dropped my knife. I held my wrist, noticing that there was still a bandage on it.

"Sorry, I didn't know your wrist was weak," Ciel apologized as my eyes widened.

"No! Don't say sorry. Why are you saying sorry? It's not your fault?" I clarified to Ciel but he began to cut his lobster. Then he held up the piece to my mouth.

"Say ahh." He directed me as I opened my mouth slowly and bit down at the lobster. It was so heavenly, making me feel like I was swimming in the ocean with the lobsters and having fun with them. How did Sebastian cook something so delicious? My face turned red, realizing that Ciel had just fed me. Oh my gosh, what's wrong with me?

Unexpectedly, a soft violin played a cheerful waltz into the open air. I looked around and saw Sebastian playing the violin.

"Would you join me for a dance?" Ciel invited me. I smiled and got up from my chair to walk towards Ciel.

"Of course I would. I don't know how to dance though," I warned him but he chuckled.

"I don't either," he grinned and led me forward and backwards. He would twirl me around whenever he felt like was the right moment and we just danced around goofily. Our steps were horribly out of place but no one cared about it.

"Look there," Ciel pointed up into the sky. There was a small canopy above us so I moved around to watch the moon. It was a strange waning moon but it shined as brightly as it could.

"My father would always talk about the moon with me," Ciel reminisced about his childhood and when his parents were still alive.

"Me too-," I started to say but stopped. My father… Who was my father? I didn't even know my mother as well. Did she commit suicide… or did she sell me off? The dream I had a few nights ago blended into my past, distorting me from understanding what was real or not.

"I don't remember my parents," I admitted and looked up into the sky. The stars were dim but still pretty in their own way. When I turned around to face Ciel, his face was so close to mine. The elegant roses in the background made it seem like Ciel was I in a pool of flowers. Among the flowers, he gave off a soft aura. I looked like he sparkled. His eye was magnificent as I t flowed a bright blue. He leaned in closer to me, slower than anything. I could smell the minty cologne he wore as his lips were less than a millimeter away from mine. My eyes fluttered shut and warm lips brushed against my own. I might have been abused by Alois before, but I've never had a kiss. My heart raced as I felt my cheeks turn a bright red colour. Cautiously, his hand came up to cup my smell face in his palm. I kissed him like I never wanted him to leave. Everything felt so perfect. His tongue licked my lips, begging to come inside. Afraid but curious, I opened my mouth. A new sensation rushed through me as I felt a foreign object in m mouth. Ciel's tongue explored my tongue and intertwined with it. I didn't know if this was still considered as kissing, but it was alluring. His mouth tasted like earl grey tea from what he drank before but it was a sweet flavor. I reciprocated his kiss and we became very intimate. Maybe I am in love with Ciel.

"Ahem," someone cleared their voice, "I do apologize, but I have to separate you apart. Ciel pulled away and we were connected for another second while a line of saliva formed but it quickly broke off. I blushed a whole new shade of red, knowing Sebastian watched us kiss. Ciel glared at Sebastian for interrupting us.

"What is it?" he growled at Sebastian. Sebastian gave a playful smile but got right to business.

"Lady Elizabeth is here. She would like to speak with you."

"In the middle of the night?" I exclaimed and guessed it was around eleven o'clock. Why would Elizabeth be here now? Oh, this is great. This saves me time and effort.

"I'll greet her first, so you can clean up everything. Sorry for making you do this!" I shouted at Ciel and Sebastian as I zoomed past them to get to the entrance. I left them behind confused and in a daze. I must get Elizabeth while she doesn't suspect me.

"Carissa? Is that you?" I heard a high pitched voice echo into the room as my eyes stumbled upon a pink dressed girl. Sure enough, she wasn't expecting me to show up. I untied the huge ribbon, and wrapped it around Elizabeth. Surprisingly enough, it looped around her two times, making it secure. I dragged Elizabeth outside to the front door and pushed it open carefully, hoping no one could hear me.

"Claude, let's go," I whispered into the cold night. A small neigh came from my left as Claude came in front of me with the carriage. I pulled Elizabeth up into the carriage when Claude quickly opened the door for me. She thrashed around as I tied her even tighter. I looked into her eyes and saw how frightened she was. Before I knew it, we arrived at the manor, Claude opened the door and lifted Elizabeth out of the carriage. He gave me a cold stare which made no sense to me. We sprinted through the three storied building, up to an empty room. I nodded at Claude, signaling to put her on the ground and waved him away. The only thing in this room was a small desk and a chair. So empty and lonely in this room.

"You annoying girl. Always intruding on my lovely day with Ciel," I kicked her in the face and made her cry harder than she was already. Bruises and footmarks appeared as she coughed up blood.

"Carissa? Why? Why are you doing this to me?" she spoke between her sobs. Ah, this clichéd question I've always read from so many mystery books. I grew tired of it and by the way she was crying, I could tell she's never been abused before.

"Shut up!" I stepped on her hand, managing to break a few bones, "You don't know what it's like to be abused and used as a tool in a foolish game. You never felt pain before. Don't get in my way of getting Ciel," my voice trailed off. Her sobs quieted but shock has overridden her. My anger burs as if it was ignited again when I saw her pitiful face. I pulled her up from her hair and whispered in her ears.

"I hate these blond curls and that happy-go-lucky personality of yours," my hatred grew as I snipped of her enormous curls with a scissor I grabbed from a nearby desk. She fell to the floor and gasped from the sudden impact. I snickered at her, maybe eve feeling a bit happy. I was dirty, evil and soiled. I looked down at my hands and smiled.

**BEEP BEEP SCENE CHANGE BEEP BEEP**

I had Claude take me back to the Phantomhive estate as quickly as possible. I didn't want them to suspect me, but life doesn't go the way you want it to go. I looked out the window of the carriage and realized Sebastian stood in front of the road, blocking the carriage from moving forward.

"You aren't welcomed her, Lady Trancy," he sneered at Claude and I. I felt a sharp pain in my chest when I heard those words.

"Is that you, Carissa?" a childish voice spoke from behind Sebastian. Ciel appeared from behind Sebastian as I stepped out of the carriage.

"Where did you go? Elizabeth was supposed to be here as well. Weren't you supposed to be with her?" Ciel threw questions at me. Sebastian glared at me but I frowned in disgust. Everyone was glaring. I remembered Alois' words of not falling in love with Ciel but to hurt him. So I'm not in love with him, nor am I in denial. I swallowed down my pride as the darkness in me took over.

"You useless brat."


	8. Chapter 8

**I'll explain it again. Apparently, dashes, the squiggly line and arrow does not work for a scene change thing... so I just say beep beep scene change beep beep :D I like beeps...**

Chapter 10

"I kidnapped her," I confessed and kept a straight face. Ciel gawked at me as if I told him that elephants couldn't jump. His face twisted in confusion as he slowly processed the information.

"What? Why would you kidnap her?" Ciel questioned, not wanting to admit that I would kidnap her. It's not his fault if he wouldn't admit it. I could tell he's hurt by what I've done.

"Yes, what else do you want me to say? I kidnapped her. I. Kidnapped. Elizabeth," my voice cracked and I was on the verge of crying. My legs started to lose feeling but I stood up straight. My heart ached so much knowing Ciel might hate me.

"But… why? Answer me!" he grabbed my shoulders and shook me back and forth.

I closed my eyes and yelled back at him, "I'm a Trancy! I did what my brother told me." Ciel's hand snatched my shirt and had lifted me off the ground. I was choking because it was hard to breathe when the shirt cut off my air supply.

"A Trancy? You're brother is Alois?" his voice snarled at me, "Carissa Trancy." Out of nowhere, Ciel started laughing into the misty air as he put me down. I didn't understand why he would laugh out of nowhere.

"That's hilarious. I never knew you had that kind of humor, Carissa," he smiled at me, "Related to the Trancy filth." I scowled as I walked back to the carriage. Claude got off his seat to open the door, waiting for me to step inside.

"Since I'm not welcomed here, I'll be waiting at my house," my back faced him as I spoke softly. I sat on the cushioned seat and watched Claude close the door for me.

"Carissa? Wait, you're leaving? Aren't you going to help me retrieve Elizabeth?" he peered into the window of the carriage. I looked away from him; I didn't want him to see my face about to cry.

"Why would a filth like me help you?" I retorted his words back at him. Just a few minutes ago, Ciel and I were having the best time of our lives, but now, he's calling me dirt. Claude whipped the horses of the carriage and drove away from here. How? How did this turn into the worst day every?

**BEEP BEEP SCENE CHANGE BEEP BEEP**

The door frame was cold when I leaned against it. The windows in the room were large with small streaks of light coming through. It was already five in the morning. When is Ciel coming over? I sighed and walked into the room. The old grand piano stood in the middle of the room, waiting for someone to play it. I pulled out the wooden chair that lacked a fluffy cushion and sat down on the dusty seat. I hit one key and the sound rang into the air. It sounded so beautiful. I played the song I had at Ciel's mansion, trying to get the feeling I got before. I kept messing up with small mistakes and I started over every time. No matter how many times I practiced the piece, I sounded horrible. I banged the piano with my fist as I felt hot tears flowing down my cheeks. It hurts. My heart hurts so much.

"Frustration will get you nowhere," a soothing voice came from behind me. I cried even harder, knowing who was behind me.

"Claude. I can't do this anymore. It's impossible," I cried into his shirt, "There's no one to help me. No one to comfort me." I could feel Claude pat my head and rub my back.

"If there's no one to comfort you, then why am I here?" he chuckled softly, "Calm down and play the song again." He wiped my tears away with his gloved hand and turned me around to face the keyboard. I sniffed a bit and placed my fingers on the keys. I played the song again, trying to calm down.

"Add pedals here and put more feelings into it," Claude pointed out. I obeyed him and sure enough, it sounded just like before. My frown turned into a smile as I playfully continued with the song. It was working.

"Keep smiling and stop crying. You look better with a smile," Claude whispered to me and fixed his glasses. For a second, it seemed as if he had smiled but I couldn't make sure if he did or not.

"I wonder what I'd do without you," I gave him a quick hug and let go. I've never hugged Claude before and something made me want to hug someone. Suddenly, I decided that I won't help Alois anymore. I'm going to follow my own will.

"I'll be going to where your brother is right now. Stay safe," he bowed and exited the room. The room felt empty again but the piano kept me company. I looked out the window and noticed a carriage rolling up the driveway. I smiled and ran to the door, hoping I could get there faster than Ciel. I opened the large stone door and saw Ciel jogging up to face me.

"What are you doing? I thought you refused to help me," Ciel said. I sighed and deeply inhaled, ready for a stupid explanation.

"Forgive me but I changed my mind. If Elizabeth makes you happy, then I'll do anything to make you happy," I smiled and guided Ciel up to Alois' headquarters. We ran as fast as we could because who knew what will happen if someone left Alois alone with a girl.

"That's not it. It's not really Elizabeth that makes me happy. It's just my duty," Ciel mumbled under his breath. It wasn't hard to hear him so I smiled at those words. They made me warm and tingling inside. We raced down the wooden floorboards and the silence was threatening the intense atmosphere. I kicked open the door and found an empty chair with a piece of paper on the seat.

"Carissa, I brought the girl to the shack. You know, where we were reborn," I red off the note card. I crushed the weak paper in m hands and anger rushed through me. I snapped my head around and dragged Ciel outside again. My wrist twitched a bit from the sore pain but I shook my head as if to dislodge the fact it hurt.

"What? Where are you going?" Ciel questioned and got on the carriage. I had pushed him in while I walked up towards Sebastian.

"Alois brought Elizabeth to our house," I explained. I told Sebastian to head to the other side of the city as fast as possible. He nodded and I quickly hopped into the carriage.

"Isn't this your house though?" Ciel said with confusion filling up his head. I shut the door myself and heard the crack of the whip slap against the horse. The wind rushed in from the windows and made our hair sway gently in the breeze.

"He meant the house where I was renamed Trancy instead of McCain."

**BEEP BEEP SCENE CHANGE BEEP BEEP**

We reached the shack Alois talked about in his note and I pulled Ciel off the carriage.

"This is a shack? This is a ten storied castle!" he shouted at the building while examining the details. Alois called this huge mansion a shack only because it was where he was treated horribly. He hated this place; I wonder what made him come here again. I choose to ignore Ciel's shock and told Sebastian to search the east wing while Ciel and I head for the west wing. He nodded at me, taking orders from a Trancy. It only seemed right because I was helping Ciel, but I couldn't stop feeling that he still didn't trust me. I led Ciel up the staircases up to the ninth floor. Somehow, this felt like a déjà vu.

I turned the door knob of the only door on the ninth floor, only to find it locked. I kicked it open as hard as I could and it fell to the floor. Thank you Claude for teaching me how to fight.

"Alois!" I screamed into the room. Elizabeth was tied to a chair with Alois standing behind her. There were droplets of crimson red blood on the floor and gold strands of hair lying on the floor. I looked up at Alois with hatred.

"You said you wouldn't hurt her!" I yelled in his face. Ciel stood behind me with anger distorting his face. Alois chuckled and grabbed Elizabeth's short hair. Her blonde curls were absent but I remembered cutting them off.

"What are you talking about," Alois licker her ear, making Elizabeth give out a small shriek, "You did this to her. I only brought her here. It's good to know you lured Ciel here. Excellent work, little sister." My eyes widened and turned to Ciel. His beautiful blue eyes turned into hate.

"You planned this? You planned to betray me twice?" he growled at me. My heart sunk as I stepped backwards away from him. His growl scarred me and tears almost fell out of my eyes.

"Claude," Alois ordered. Claude grabbed Ciel and gagged his mouth with a piece of white cloth. He knocked Ciel off balance by kneeing him in the gut. Ciel tripped forwards and choked on his own blood. His blood spilled onto the carpeted floor as Claude grabbed Ciel by his hair. I turned away, knowing that I had hurt Ciel again.

"Alois, you…," my voice dropped an octave. He laughed at me and the pitiful Ciel. _I'll make sure that you'll never be able to laugh again_, I cursed in my head.

My feet started running and my hands were up as I charged at big brother. My fingers found their way around his neck and they clenched it tightly. My feet didn't stop running and it was impossible to stop myself with the force pushing against me. We crashed through the window, shattering the stained glass. Pieces of the class cut against my skin but I didn't care. I didn't care as long as Alois dies. Brother and I were falling down and something caught Alois and pulled him away.

"Carissa!" Ciel shouted at the top of his lungs. I looked back at the broken window and saw Ciel jump out of it. It felt like a long way down from the ground since I jumped out from the ninth floor. Ciel reached out to grab me and I tried to as well but the gravity pulled me to the ground faster than I could hold onto Ciel. Our index finger interlocked with each other and I closed my eyes, ready for the impact of the ground. A pair of arms grabbed hold of me and I felt like I was flying. All of the rushing wind stopped and the sound of crickets filled the air.

"Please consider the consequences first before you act, bocchan," a silky dark voice spoke into the clear night. I looked up and saw Sebastian placing me gently onto the ground. I hoisted myself up so that I leaned against a tree.

"Where's Carissa?" Ciel pushed away Sebastian and ran towards me he lifted my chin p and took out his handkerchief to wipe the blood away from my face.

"Are you alright?" he worried and held my hand. I wheezed a little but managed to get my sentence out.

"Desserts," I coughed out. Ciel looked at me with his eyebrows furrowed together.

"Desserts? You want to eat some desserts?" he turned to Sebastian for help on interpreting what I said but Sebastian was also confused.

"No, spell it backwards," I commanded Ciel. He tried forming the word in his mouth but it took too long.

"Stressed. She feels stressed because what happened such as she going against her brother and then falling out of a ten floored building." Sebastian took my place to explain everything to the clueless Ciel. I gathered up my energy and patted Ciel's arm.

"I'm just messing with you. I didn't know what to say and I'm fine is used too often," I grinned. I noticed Elizabeth skipping towards us behind Sebastian. I frowned a bit, knowing that she's heading for Ciel.

"Carissa!" she cried out and ran past Ciel. She came and hugged me tight, I could feel her hands shake.

"Elizabeth?" my voice revealed that I was shocked.

"I'm so glad you're safe. Don't scare peoples like that!" she smiled at me happily, not remembering what I had done to her.

"Elizabeth! Why are you treating me so nicely after I… had hurt you?" I rubbed my arm. I was embarrassed to admit I had taken my anger out on her.

"A friend will forgive a friend no matter what happens." _A friend, Elizabeth called me a friend, _I smiled at the thought. Alois found me while cursing at Claude for not saving me but only him.

"Carissa, we're leaving!" Alois tugged on my dress and pulled me away.

"Wait, brother. Stop, I don't want to go!" I struggled against his will but his grip on me tightened. He handed me to Claude who carried me back home with Alois. We left with Ciel, Sebastian and Elizabeth behind at our shack. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't because it felt like my tears had dried up.

When I got back to my house, I ran up to my room and locked myself in there. Then I quickly grabbed the biggest bag I had and stuffed all kind of clothes I could grab right now. Before I left, I wrote two letters and found Thompson and instructed him to give one letter to Alois and another to Ciel after I left. I wanted someone to come with me, I needed to leave his place. I bit my lip as I rushed to find Hannah. I found her in the kitchen, in the middle of baking a cake. My breath ran out trying to search for her, but I managed to talk.

"Hannah, I have to go. Come with me," I begged of her. She wasn't someone who would leave her Alois behind but I put on my pitiful face. She nodded and walked outside with me. We ran away in the opposite direction as fast as possible. I hate Alois. I hated him for everything he had done to me.

"Where are you planning to go?" Hannah asked me but still obediently followed me. It was strange for her to leave her master.

"I need to find my real identity and learn how to break away from my chains."


	9. Chapter 9

**Personally, I hate this chapter. It's short, concise, rushed, and in 3rd person. I don't like 3rd person. With that said, read on.**

Chapter 9

**3****rd**** person Alois' House**

Alois sat on his bed hugging his stuffed spider toy. He fumbled with the legs while angry at Claude.

"I can't believe you didn't save Carissa! She's my sister! You were supposed to save her as well! Don't just go around and leave her falling from the building," he shouted at Claude. Claude didn't change his expression and stayed indifferent.

"She's not really your sister. You bought her, don't you remember?" Claude fixed his glasses. Alois looked sharply at Claude and squeezed his stuffed animal. He didn't want to admit the fact Carissa wasn't related to him.

"You've grown too attach to her, dama-sama," Claude half whispered in Alois' ears. Chills ran down Alois' back as the words processed in his head.

"I have not grown too attached from her!" He threw his spider toy at Claude like a little child. The door opened quietly as Thompson entered the room.

"What is it that you want," Alois scowled at him. He always hated his servants other than Claude. Thompson handed Alois the letter but Alois snatched it away from him with disgust.

"Who the hell wrote this," Alois ripped open the letter, "To Alois? Claude, read it to me." He handed Claude the piece of paper. After fixing his glasses, he recited the words off the paper.

"'I'm leaving brother. I'm leaving this world. I'm sorry that I fell in love with Ciel. I just can't help it. I don't deserve to be your sister, because I don't deserve to be your sister, I'm breaking my promise. I'm leaving you.' Sounds like she's dead," Claude added his own opinion at the end. Alois gritted his teeth with hatred as he heard the words.

"She's not dead!" he screamed and got off his bed. He dashed from his room all the way to the end of the hallway. He slammed the door of Carissa's room to find nothing in the room. He flipped the bed sheets up and swung open the closet doors. Nothing. Sweat ran down his face and panic came across his face. He ran down to the front door and opened it.

"Carissa!" he screamed through his panting. Claude came walking up to Alois and wiped his sweat away from Alois' face.

"No, she's not dead. Don't lie to me!" Alois slapped away Claude's hand and strode away. _How could she have left,_ Alois pondered at the thought, _she promised. She promised._

Days went on and with little faith, Alois grew dreary from waiting for Carissa to return to her home. He couldn't stand it anymore, being so lonely with Carissa to tease or get her to complete his wish. Then again, he had Claude for a reason. As the days dragged Alois was losing his common sense. His temper grew wild as he shattered every single porcelain he had in the mansion. Alois went through a small mental breakdown, just like he had when Luca had died years ago. He clung onto Claude day and night, eager for Claude's company. He needed something, someone to comfort him when he was alone again.

One day, Alois decided to visit the Phantomhive manor and get back at Ciel for making Carissa disappear. He needed to crush Ciel.

**Rewind back to Ciel's House**

"She's so indecisive," Ciel muttered under his breath.

"She acts likes like her age, unlike someone I know, young master," Sebastian chuckled at Ciel's small frustration. Ciel pouted at Sebastian but then turned to work on his paper work for the Funtom Company. There was a light rap on the door and Sebastian opened it, revealing Thompson standing at the door frame.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you a servant at the Trancy manor?" Ciel got up from his chair, surprised to see an unexpected guest. Without speaking a word, he handed the letter to Sebastian and quickly ran away.

"It's a letter, addressed to you," Sebastian handed it to Ciel.

"Who is it from?" Ciel sounded annoyed. He wasn't the happiest in the morning, especially when he didn't sleep a wink because of the commotion. He flipped open the letter and read out its contents.

"'I had done such a horrible thing. I fell in love with someone with you while trying to capture you for Alois. To be related to that 'filth', as you stated, I'm ashamed. Forgive me because I'm leaving to find my identity. I want to find out who I am and how to break away from Alois so I wouldn't have to follow his orders anymore. I sound like an idiot but I'll be gone until my chains are released. Thank you for everything,'" Ciel's hands shook as he read it. He looked up at Sebastian and looked into his eyes.

"What does she mean?" Ciel's voice trembled. Sebastian, remembering his deal with Claude and the blood stained rose in his pocket, smiled at this idea. _Maybe Claude would say the same things as me,_ Sebastian thought to himself. He made a deal with Claude saying that even though Ciel's wish had been fulfilled, he would brainwash Ciel to think Alois killed his parents. Though there was one problem. Ciel's soul was gone already. He had already turned into the same kind as Sebastian; Claude doesn't know. No one knows but Sebastian and Ciel.

Trying to keep his end of the deal, Sebastian tilted Ciel's face towards his and fed him a lie, "She may have committed suicide because her brother tortured her." Sebastian broke his promised and morale when he said he will never lie. Ciel's eyes widened as he heard Sebastian's explanation. Denial ran through Ciel's mind, rejecting the fact that the one he loved was dead. After a few days of arguing with himself, whether or not Carissa was dead, he needed to get out of the house.

"Grab my coat," Ciel ordered Sebastian and got up from his seat. He wasn't going to sit around and accept the fact that Carissa had died.

"Where would you like to go, master?" Sebastian put the black coat on Ciel and handed him his walking stick. Ciel hide his nose into his coat as he walked outside. The chilled air stung on his face as he got in the carriage.

"To the Trancy estate."

When Ciel arrived at the Trancy manor, he noticed Alois was standing outside in front of his carriage.

"Saves me the trouble of going to your house," Alois spat at Ciel. The two hateful rivals stood chest to chest and stared each other down.

"She's gone and it's all your fault," Alois bared his teeth, unsatisfied that his voice didn't come out as harsh as he wanted it to.

"My fault? What about you? She said sometime about you keeping chains on her," Ciel retorted back. Alois stumbled backwards a bit, wondering how Ciel would have known.

"I do not keep her in chains. I just protect her," he denied. While Ciel and Alois glared at each other, the butlers smirked. It was going accordingly to their plan.

"It doesn't matter anymore! Because of you, she committed suicide!" Ciel bellowed at Alois. Alois' face showed confusion at what Ciel threw at him.

"Because of me? She left me because she loved you. You're the one who killed her!" Alois threw his hands up in the air and screamed. Both of them were very confused at what had happened.

"She died because she loved me? Who does something as crazy as that? You liar," Ciel murmured, trying to think things through.

"Well obviously, she didn't commit suicide because of me," Alois hissed back. They both felt idiotic and childish while screaming at each other. Then, their heads snapped towards their butlers.

"You lied?" the masters snarled at the same time. Claude chuckled and fixed his glasses again. Ciel didn't want to hear their reason and grabbed Alois' collar.

"Whether you killed Carissa or not, I'm still going to kill you to get my revenge. You killed my parents," Ciel's eyes narrowed and filled it with anger. Alois got out a gold pocket knife that he hid under his sleeve, ready to stab Ciel.

"Stop it!" a girl yelled. Everyone turned their head at the source of sound and found Hannah and Carissa panting. Carissa wiped her sweat away and walked between the two guys.

"Who said I was dead?"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Back to Carissa's POV**

"Carissa!" Alois and Ciel charged up to me and hugged me tight.

"Don't scare me! I thought you died!" Ciel whispered in my ear. I could hear the uncertainty in his voice like I was disappearing from his grasp.

"Didn't I tell you? I was going to look for my identity," I reassured the two boys. I could feel wet tears on my dress. Ciel was silently crying, which shocked me, but Alois cried out loud.

"You idiot. You're identity is a Trancy. What else are you?" Alois rubbed my hair playfully. I brushed his hand away.

"Here," I tossed a rolled up scroll towards Alois, "This is my birth certificate. Thanks to Claude, I have evidence that you tried to use hypnosis on me. I'm a child of the Walker family. Never again will I have to follow your orders anymore." Alois took a step back, shocked from the proof. He crushed the paper in his hand, but then unrolled it. His face twisted with rage as he ripped it up into shreds. My heart felt light as I watched him tear up my existence.

"You don't exist anymore, therefore, I don't need you. Claude," Alois snickered and snapped his fingers. Claude nodded and charged at Ciel. He took off his gloves and revealed his razor sharp nails.

"No!" I shouted and stepped in front of Ciel. Claude's eyes narrowed as he used his nails to throw me out of the way. I felt four stinging cuts on my chest and wet blood dripping. Claude still lunged forward to Ciel but I couldn't stop him. Why was this happening? My vision swayed and my breath was heavy. Ciel would die if Claude gets him! Unexpectedly, Sebastian appeared from thin air and blocked Claude's nails with the back of his hand.

"From the clan of spiders, you do have long slick nails," Sebastian smirked and pushed Claude back. Sebastian's glove was torn so he slipped them off, portraying a unique star design. His eyes glowed a magnificent pinkish red colour. What were they? The spider clan? The butlers fought each other with great speed, unable to be deciphered by the human eye. They were throwing punches and kicks at one another, hoping to aim at a vital region. Sebastian aimed for the head while managing to cut off strands of Claude's hair. Claude growled hen small cuts were formed on their clothing and little droplets of blood fell to the floor. The rest were all too blurry for me to comprehend who was winning.

Suddenly, I heard a loud thud as something heavy fell to the floor. I blinked hard, trying to focus my eyes. Ciel had punched Alois square in the face, making him tumble over. Alois quickly got up, trying to counterattack Ciel's move. The butlers were fighting in the background while the two masters fought each other. Ciel and Alois' fight seemed as if it was a slow imitation of the two black figures behind them. I looked down at my dress, only to see the white cloth soaked in red. The four slashes on my body weren't clean cuts; they were jagged cuts with the skin hanging loosely from the open wound. I touched but it burned so bad, I lost my breath. I breathed in deeply, trying so hard to regain my normal breathing pace.

"Stop it Alois!" I screamed and blocked a punch that was supposed to be directed to Ciel. My hand caught it, surprisingly, and I remembered Claude coaching me in combat.

"You're in the way again! Die already!" he kicked me in my wound, throwing me against a tree. I may have been trained, but I was weak and injured. I heard my ribs crack, causing more bleeding from the cuts. It hurt so badly. I heard a small pinging sound in my ears and my head ached. I saw Alois holding a small dagger, ready to pounce on Ciel. His eye patch had fallen to the floor but his hair still covered his mysterious right eye. Ciel was held captive on the floor as Alois brought down the knife to piece his heart. Before the tip could rip his undamaged skin, something interrupted Alois. Blood splattered everywhere as a pretty blond hair, now dyed with crimson red, fell to the floor.

"Don't kill Ciel," Claude's deep voice growled. In his hand was a long green sword, elegantly swirled metal, and carved sharply.

"To kill your master is a disgrace," Sebastian frowned, "You broke your contract to obtain a soul that doesn't belong to you." Both of them glared intensely at each other while I ran to the dead body, more like limping. As quickly as Claude fell, Sebastian had took the luscious green sword and finished off Claude.

"Brother!" I tried shouting but I hacked up blood instead. His figure was distorted with the large red wound on his body. His face had an evil smile but shock had taken over in his eyes. I closed his eyes, wanting to cry but couldn't. _Thank you for taking me away from my vicious family_, I thought and fell to the floor. My eyes wanted to close; they couldn't hold it in any longer.

Ciel's POV

With the air knocked out of me, when Alois chocked me, I was breathless until I noticed Carissa fall to the floor. My heart jumped, knowing she was losing too much blood.

"Carissa!" I kneeled down by her side and held her up. She was panting and trying to stay conscious with all her might.

"Stay with me," I begged and examined her wounds. The disgusting looking skin flapped in the cold air made blood sweep out quicker. She gasped and squeezed her eyes shut. Then she relaxed a bit and went limp.

"I can't hold on any longer," she whispered, "At least I know I saved you." My eyebrows furrowed, thinking that she was talking nonsense.

"Idiot. You didn't have to save me," I half joked but looked at Sebastian, "Is there anything you could do?" I would do anything to save her. Sebastian licked his fingers dry and shook his head.

"Her ribs had punctured her lungs and she lost too much blood. There's nothing I can do," Sebastian apologized but I knew he was lying. _He's been lying a lot lately_, I thought. But there was a way.

"Do it, Sebastian," I ordered. He sighed at looked at me as if I had grown a white beard.

"Are you sure?" he retorted at me.

"Stop asking questions and just do it!" I threw back at him, annoyed that he didn't take the order immediately.

"Yes, my lord," he bowed and bit his wrist. Blood trickled down his wrist as held it to Carissa's mouth.

"Drink it, you'll feel better," my voice softened as I watched Carissa try to move her mouth. All she needed was a drop of blood.

"No, I don't want to turn into something weird!" she tried to struggle but I held her still. Did she already know what we were doing? Did she know about demons?

Sebastian quickly withdrew his wrist and brought her face close to his. It looked like they were kissing but his mouth was only a few centimeters away from Carissa's lips. A small blue light traveled between the space and entered Carissa's mouth. When Sebastian was through with her, he gently placed her back into my arms. She slumped down, looking like a corpse. Her heart had stopped beating and her cuts healed quickly. It didn't leave a scar, which was a miracle, and her breathing was soft. Something had changed. Her long blond hair was soiled in black, darker than the night. I didn't care what she looked like, I just… love her. I watched closely, waiting for her to wake up.

Carissa's POV

What's that smell? Pine trees? My eyes fluttered open as I sat up straight, startled. I could see the so clearly, the designs of the insects' wings, lines of leaves on the trees, and cracks of rocks far off in the distance. The air seemed warmer than it had before. I could hear everything and it hurt my ears. My thoughts rushed in my head as I began to think of everything. _Why was Ciel holding me? I remembered that Sebastian fed me his blood, but why? What is happening? Where's Alois? Why do I feel like this world is warming up? Wasn't it really cold before?_ My thoughts jumbled together as I tried to get things straight. After staring into space, I thought was an hour had passed by but it was only a few seconds. I looked at my hand and noticed my fingernails were painted black. What's happening to me? My heart wasn't beating anymore.

"Your eyes are shining a beautiful pinkish red colour," Ciel complimented me. I thought back and realized what I had become. I got up and looked at my wounds and noticed they were fully healed. That had confirmed what I believed. I ran in the opposite direction of Ciel, hoping to get away from them. As I ran, I became aware that I was running with supernatural speed. _No, a demon can't love a human. They can't be together. I don't love Ciel. I don't love Ciel. I don't love Ciel. I CAN'T love Ciel._

"Carissa!" a sweet voice shouted and grabbed my hand. Ciel caught up with me, pulled me close to him, and kissed me. He kissed me. Tears ran down my eyes as Ciel and I embraced each other. He spelled "I love you" on my tongue and it made me want to cry even more. I didn't have to breathe so I kissed him until he broke the kiss.

"Don't leave me," Ciel stared into my demonic eyes. My eyes, noticing that his left eye was the same as mine, but his right eye was a deep luxurious purple eye with the same star design as Sebastian's hand. No wonder he could have caught up with me.

"Ciel, you…," my voice trailed as I reached up to touch his face. He hugged me tighter and pulled me closer to his chest.

"I didn't want you to see me like this," Ciel mumbled into my hair, "This is going to sound a bit clichéd, but will you promise to stay with me forever?" I couldn't help it. I was drawn to him, so helplessly drawn to him. My tears flowed down again, making his shirt wet. All I could do was cry.

"I promise."

I couldn't decide. Maybe I am in love with him, but I just won't say it out loud.

**End, I wuv you guys :D**


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